19.3: Polishing Accomplishment-Impact Bullet Statements
- Page ID
- 180291
\( \newcommand{\vecs}[1]{\overset { \scriptstyle \rightharpoonup} {\mathbf{#1}} } \)
\( \newcommand{\vecd}[1]{\overset{-\!-\!\rightharpoonup}{\vphantom{a}\smash {#1}}} \)
\( \newcommand{\id}{\mathrm{id}}\) \( \newcommand{\Span}{\mathrm{span}}\)
( \newcommand{\kernel}{\mathrm{null}\,}\) \( \newcommand{\range}{\mathrm{range}\,}\)
\( \newcommand{\RealPart}{\mathrm{Re}}\) \( \newcommand{\ImaginaryPart}{\mathrm{Im}}\)
\( \newcommand{\Argument}{\mathrm{Arg}}\) \( \newcommand{\norm}[1]{\| #1 \|}\)
\( \newcommand{\inner}[2]{\langle #1, #2 \rangle}\)
\( \newcommand{\Span}{\mathrm{span}}\)
\( \newcommand{\id}{\mathrm{id}}\)
\( \newcommand{\Span}{\mathrm{span}}\)
\( \newcommand{\kernel}{\mathrm{null}\,}\)
\( \newcommand{\range}{\mathrm{range}\,}\)
\( \newcommand{\RealPart}{\mathrm{Re}}\)
\( \newcommand{\ImaginaryPart}{\mathrm{Im}}\)
\( \newcommand{\Argument}{\mathrm{Arg}}\)
\( \newcommand{\norm}[1]{\| #1 \|}\)
\( \newcommand{\inner}[2]{\langle #1, #2 \rangle}\)
\( \newcommand{\Span}{\mathrm{span}}\) \( \newcommand{\AA}{\unicode[.8,0]{x212B}}\)
\( \newcommand{\vectorA}[1]{\vec{#1}} % arrow\)
\( \newcommand{\vectorAt}[1]{\vec{\text{#1}}} % arrow\)
\( \newcommand{\vectorB}[1]{\overset { \scriptstyle \rightharpoonup} {\mathbf{#1}} } \)
\( \newcommand{\vectorC}[1]{\textbf{#1}} \)
\( \newcommand{\vectorD}[1]{\overrightarrow{#1}} \)
\( \newcommand{\vectorDt}[1]{\overrightarrow{\text{#1}}} \)
\( \newcommand{\vectE}[1]{\overset{-\!-\!\rightharpoonup}{\vphantom{a}\smash{\mathbf {#1}}}} \)
\( \newcommand{\vecs}[1]{\overset { \scriptstyle \rightharpoonup} {\mathbf{#1}} } \)
\( \newcommand{\vecd}[1]{\overset{-\!-\!\rightharpoonup}{\vphantom{a}\smash {#1}}} \)
ABS stands not only for accuracy, brevity and specificity, but also for the critical "attributes of bullet statements." After the first draft bullets are complete, keep ABS in mind as you prepare to polish your draft statements to clean them up, trim them down and give them the scrubbing they need before they become a permanent part of someone’s official record. Consider the following bullet: how could it be sculpted to support both the accomplishment and the impact?
- Repaired 17 seriously corroded broken or missing Log Periodic (LP) antenna elements in the Atlantic Gateway Antenna System within 3 days by using elements from decommissioned antenna parts saving an estimated \(\$ 3500\) in procurement cost and 4 weeks of expected delivery time
Accuracy
To make the bullet statement accurate you need to ensure the facts are correct. Verify the facts by simply asking a few questions. For this example, a few questions revealed a more detailed picture of the actual accomplishment.
- How many antenna elements were actually repaired? How many were replaced? In this example, 17 elements were salvaged from decommissioned equipment and repaired to replace the seriously damaged and corroded elements; an additional 23 elements were repaired (sanded, repainted or recovered).
- How long does delivery really take and why? Four weeks of delivery time seems like a long time; why does it take so long to receive antenna parts? The antenna elements come from only one vendor and the estimated delivery time is based on the relatively low priority of the work order.
Specificity
The content for this example has a close relationship between accuracy and specificity. Details about your work may be likewise connected. The point is that sculpting your ABS does not require them to be done in A-B-S order. Here, we consider the specificity and will close with brevity. In order to make the facts in the bullet statement as specific as possible, follow the same question and answer method used to guarantee accuracy.
- Exactly how many antennas were fixed? A total of 40 antenna elements were repaired or replaced from all six LP antennas in the system.
- How much cost was actually saved? The exact cost charged to the unit for purchasing the 17 replacement antenna elements would have been \(\$ 3479\).
- How would the cost savings be spent? The \(\$ 3500\) cost savings estimate is based on various antenna elements from an AN/GRA-4(V)4 Log Periodic antenna system that do not need to be purchased due to the repair of elements from decommissioned antennas.
- What is the Atlantic Gateway Antenna System? The Atlantic Gateway Antenna System connects Air Force and other DoD users from the eastern seaboard of the US to military personnel in Western Europe.
- How has the repair of the antennas improved service to their customers? Transmit and receive signal strength was improved; static and cross-talk was reduced.
Revised bullet: With the information gathered we can edit the bullet for accuracy and specificity. While not every item of information could be added, the items that are included (shown in BOLD, below) contribute significantly to the message being sent.
- Restored 40 seriously corroded, broken, or missing elements on 6 AN/GRA-4 Log Periodic Antenna Systems in the Atlantic Gateway Antenna System within 3 days by using elements from decommissioned antenna parts
- Saved an estimated \(\mathbf{\$ 3 . 4 K}\) in procurement cost and four weeks of expected delivery time
- Sharply improved clarity of voice signal for operators in US and Europe
The added information enabled us to build an additional impact element and sharpen the details of the draft bullet. The bullet has also grown in length: now we need to sculpt for brevity.
Brevity
Recall that editing for brevity includes editing for shorter words and the reduction of unnecessary words. Keeping these dual tasks separate may be difficult, so do both at the same time! Changes made to improve one aspect often promote the other. The three sections that follow track the changes before, during and after editing for brevity: bold or underlined items are added; lined through items are deleted.
Before Editing for Brevity
- Restored 40 seriously corroded, broken, or missing elements on 6 AN/GRA-4 Log Periodic Antenna Systems in the Atlantic Gateway Antenna System within 3 days by using elements from decommissioned antenna parts
- Saved an estimated \(\mathbf{\$ 3 . 4 K}\) in procurement cost and four weeks of expected delivery time
- Sharply improved clarity of voice signal for operators in US and Europe
Editing for Brevity
- Restored 40 seriously corroded, broken, or missing damaged elements on \(\mathbf{6}\) six AN/GRA-4 Log Periodic Antennas Systems in the Atlantic Gateway Antenna System within 3 days by using elements from decommissioned antenna parts
- Saved an estimated \(\mathbf{\$ 3 . 4 K}\) inprocurement cost and 4weeks of expected delivery time
- Sharply improved voice clarity of voice signal for Atlantic Gateway Antenna System operators in US and Europe
After Editing for Brevity
- Restored 40 damaged elements on six AN/GRA-4 Log Periodic Antennas in 3 days using decommissioned antenna parts
- Saved \(\$ 3.4 \mathrm{~K}\) and 4 weeks of expected delivery time
- Sharply improved voice clarity for Atlantic Gateway Antenna System operators in US and Europe
You’ve just successfully completed the process of drafting, streamlining and polishing effective accomplishment-impact bullet statements. While the system in the example is dated, the process for drafting, streamlining and polishing bullets is timeless and applies to the accomplishments of all who serve in the Air Force today and tomorrow. With a little more practice, you can Extract the Facts, Build the Structure and Streamline the Final Product with ease. Writing convincing and truthful accomplishment-impact bullets will become almost second nature to you.