4.6: Revising

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Your first draft shouldn’t be your final draft. No draft is ever perfect; there’s always room for improvement. You have to have content to work with before you revise. After you have completed drafting your ideas and have established what you consider to be a complete product of the thoughts you intend to convey, then dive into the revision process.

As you were drafting, you were probably revising in your head as you wrote out your immediate thoughts. You had concerns about the paper as you were constructing it. Write those concerns down (make notes in the margin, highlight, make familiar marks) so that you can return to them. Identify what you think are strengths, too, and bring the rest of your paper to the level you are seeking.

Revising is more than correcting spelling errors; it’s finding clarity of thought. It could even be finding new thoughts you didn’t have before you started the paper. You might find yourself getting rid of extra fluff.

Steps

• Read carefully over your draft several times, with a different purpose in mind to check a specific problem each time. Look first for content (what you said), then organization (your arrangement of ideas), and finally style (the way you use words).
• Listen carefully. Read your paper aloud for confusing statements or awkward wording. Try reading it backward, even. Listen for the paper’s flow and pay attention to details one idea to the next. Each idea should come to some sort of conclusion while introducing the next idea, and each idea should relate to the one before it and the one after it.
• Take time between readings. Allow yourself time to finish a paper so you can put it aside and read it fresh when you go back to it later, to be more objective.

The essential components of content are the intended purpose, sufficient support, and that all the details are related to the main idea of your paper.

• Achieving the intended purpose – does it provide explanation, details, argument, or narration? Does it complete the writing assignment’s goal, as explained by your instructor?
• Providing sufficient support – does it need more detail, facts, examples to support the topic?
• Including relevant details – do you need to cut any irrelevant “fluff” information?

The importance of organization is to arrange ideas and details to make the most effective order, and to connect ideas to show a clear logic of thought process.

• Ideas and details are arranged in the most effective order--ideas and details should make your meaning clearer.
• Ideas are logical and clear – use of appropriate transition words to relay the connection of thoughts (such as “therefore”, “for example”) and any use of sentence combining techniques.

The power of your style will make the meaning clear, interesting for the audience with purpose, and ensure the sentences read smoothly.

• Is the meaning clear – did you use vague or general terms where you need to be precise?
• Is the language interesting, appropriate for audience and purpose – is the language to be formal or informal, did you avoid slang and clichés?
• Is it smooth – did you use a variety of sentence structures?

Four steps to revising: add, cut, replace, and reorder. These are the words you can use in the margin of your paper as you read and make decisions to revise. If you know the standard editing marks you can make revisions directly to the writing context.

Are you saying what you mean to say?

Will your audience understand it?

Does it accomplish the purpose?

STUDENT EXAMPLE: REVISING AFTER PEER REVIEW

Title of Assignment: Dear Me at age 15

Details: Write a letter to your younger self; you get to choose the age, but I would suggest anywhere from 10-15. What do you want to tell your younger self? What advice do you have right now? You can be serious or funny; it’s your letter to YOU.

DEAR ME AT 15 - FIRST DRAFT

Dear Julia,

How are you? Are you shocked that I am writing to you from the future? Me too. Here are some things I wanted to tell you:

When it comes to the family, Mom and Dad are about to get a divorce. But it is not your fault. Don’t blame yourself. They are unhappy, and I think you can feel that in the apartment when they are around together. Maybe you don’t feel comfortable, and I don’t think they do either.

All your friends will see changes too in their lives. Being a teenager sucks, and you should just realize that right away. Braces suck your teeth will look great later on tho.

DEAR ME AT 15 - SECOND DRAFT

Dear Julia,

How are you? Are you shocked that I am writing to you from the future? Me too. Here are some things I wanted to tell you: Mom & Dad are about to divorce. This crushes you because you think it is your fault. It isn’t. You should focus your energy on your little sister, Hayley. She starts to rebel because of the divorce.

All your friends will see changes too in their lives. Tanya’s parents’ divorce and you are both sad together. You two need to support each other and talk about what’s going on. When I was first in your shoes, I ignored a lot of people, but maybe you’ll listen to this letter and do better than me.

DEAR ME AT 15 - PEER REVIEW [STUDENT REVIEWER’S NOTES IN BRACKETS]

Dear Julia,

How are you? Are you shocked that I am writing to you from the future? Me too. Here are some things I wanted to tell you: Mom & Dad are about to divorce. This crushes you because you think it is your fault. It isn’t. [Maybe you should say more about why it’s not your fault?] You should focus your energy on your little sister, Hayley. She starts to rebel because of the divorce. [How does she rebel? What specifics should your younger self do?]

All your friends will see changes too in their lives. Tanya’s parents’ divorce and you are both sad together. You two need to support each other and talk about what’s going on. When I was first in your shoes, I ignored a lot of people, but maybe you’ll listen to this letter and do better than me. [Give more details here, too. How can your younger self do better this time?]

DEAR ME AT 15 - THIRD DRAFT, POST-PEER REVIEW WITH REVISIONS

Dear Julia,

How are you? Are you shocked that I am writing to you from the future? Me too. Here are some things I wanted to tell you:

Mom & Dad are about to divorce. This crushes you because you think it is your fault. It isn’t. They chose to be with each other, and it didn’t work. They wanted to have you, but they couldn’t make it work as a couple. These things are not related. Please know that!

You should focus your energy on your little sister, Hayley. She starts to rebel because of the divorce. In school, try to say hi to her in the hallways more. Try to talk to her every day to show your support because the rebelling starts with her getting into trouble with her teachers first and goes from there.

All your friends will see changes too in their lives. Tanya’s parents’ divorce and you are both sad together. You two need to support each other and talk about what’s going on. When I was first in your shoes, I ignored a lot of people, but maybe you’ll listen to this letter and do better than me. At one point, she invites you over for a Friday night sleepover. You don’t want to go, but you should. She needs to talk to you that night, so go and listen.

Assignments or Questions to Consider

(Insert ideas from students or teacher here.)

60 “Basic Writing/Print version.” Wikibooks, The Free Textbook Project. 9 Sep 2008, 16:02 UTC. 11 May 2016, 17:39 . Licensed CC-BY-SA.