7.3: Reading- Stop Comparing Your Life. Start Living It
- Page ID
- 104440
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\(\newcommand{\avec}{\mathbf a}\) \(\newcommand{\bvec}{\mathbf b}\) \(\newcommand{\cvec}{\mathbf c}\) \(\newcommand{\dvec}{\mathbf d}\) \(\newcommand{\dtil}{\widetilde{\mathbf d}}\) \(\newcommand{\evec}{\mathbf e}\) \(\newcommand{\fvec}{\mathbf f}\) \(\newcommand{\nvec}{\mathbf n}\) \(\newcommand{\pvec}{\mathbf p}\) \(\newcommand{\qvec}{\mathbf q}\) \(\newcommand{\svec}{\mathbf s}\) \(\newcommand{\tvec}{\mathbf t}\) \(\newcommand{\uvec}{\mathbf u}\) \(\newcommand{\vvec}{\mathbf v}\) \(\newcommand{\wvec}{\mathbf w}\) \(\newcommand{\xvec}{\mathbf x}\) \(\newcommand{\yvec}{\mathbf y}\) \(\newcommand{\zvec}{\mathbf z}\) \(\newcommand{\rvec}{\mathbf r}\) \(\newcommand{\mvec}{\mathbf m}\) \(\newcommand{\zerovec}{\mathbf 0}\) \(\newcommand{\onevec}{\mathbf 1}\) \(\newcommand{\real}{\mathbb R}\) \(\newcommand{\twovec}[2]{\left[\begin{array}{r}#1 \\ #2 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\ctwovec}[2]{\left[\begin{array}{c}#1 \\ #2 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\threevec}[3]{\left[\begin{array}{r}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\cthreevec}[3]{\left[\begin{array}{c}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\fourvec}[4]{\left[\begin{array}{r}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \\ #4 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\cfourvec}[4]{\left[\begin{array}{c}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \\ #4 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\fivevec}[5]{\left[\begin{array}{r}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \\ #4 \\ #5 \\ \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\cfivevec}[5]{\left[\begin{array}{c}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \\ #4 \\ #5 \\ \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\mattwo}[4]{\left[\begin{array}{rr}#1 \amp #2 \\ #3 \amp #4 \\ \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\laspan}[1]{\text{Span}\{#1\}}\) \(\newcommand{\bcal}{\cal B}\) \(\newcommand{\ccal}{\cal C}\) \(\newcommand{\scal}{\cal S}\) \(\newcommand{\wcal}{\cal W}\) \(\newcommand{\ecal}{\cal E}\) \(\newcommand{\coords}[2]{\left\{#1\right\}_{#2}}\) \(\newcommand{\gray}[1]{\color{gray}{#1}}\) \(\newcommand{\lgray}[1]{\color{lightgray}{#1}}\) \(\newcommand{\rank}{\operatorname{rank}}\) \(\newcommand{\row}{\text{Row}}\) \(\newcommand{\col}{\text{Col}}\) \(\renewcommand{\row}{\text{Row}}\) \(\newcommand{\nul}{\text{Nul}}\) \(\newcommand{\var}{\text{Var}}\) \(\newcommand{\corr}{\text{corr}}\) \(\newcommand{\len}[1]{\left|#1\right|}\) \(\newcommand{\bbar}{\overline{\bvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\bhat}{\widehat{\bvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\bperp}{\bvec^\perp}\) \(\newcommand{\xhat}{\widehat{\xvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\vhat}{\widehat{\vvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\uhat}{\widehat{\uvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\what}{\widehat{\wvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\Sighat}{\widehat{\Sigma}}\) \(\newcommand{\lt}{<}\) \(\newcommand{\gt}{>}\) \(\newcommand{\amp}{&}\) \(\definecolor{fillinmathshade}{gray}{0.9}\)Before You Read
Think about the following questions. How would you respond to each one? Choose your answers, then discuss them with your group.
1. I sometimes compare myself to … (choose all that apply)
_____ my friends
_____ my brothers or sisters
_____ my cousins
_____ my parents
_____ my neighbours
_____ other?
2. Things that I compare are … (choose all that apply)
_____ my education
_____ the amount of money I have
_____ my job
_____ my appearance and/or clothes
_____ my car
_____ other?
3. Why do you compare yourself to other people? How do you feel when you compare yourself? Write your thoughts in the space below.
The Reading
Joshua Becker is another writer who blogs about living a simpler life. In this article, he warns against comparing yourself with other people.
Part 1
Read the first part of the article. For each piece of advice, choose the correct opening sentence from the list below.
A. Life isn’t graded on a curve.
B. We always compare our worst with their best.
C. Comparison puts your focus on the wrong person.
D. There is no end to the comparison game.
E. Comparison robs you of joy.
F. We most often compare the wrong things.
Most of us understand the foolishness of trying to compare ourselves to others. We would readily admit that no good ever comes from it. Yet, whether we are comparing our home size, paycheque, physical features, or any number of measurable (and even unmeasurable) things, we do it all the time. But there are inherent problems.
1. ____________________________________________________ Because we can most easily compare the things that we can objectively measure, we live in a world that is great at measuring and comparing externals. Somewhere along the way, we decided that we could determine who is living a more valuable life by comparing clothes, cars, homes, paycheques, beauty, or Twitter followers. But externals are rarely a good measure. Net worth has never been a good indicator of self-worth.
2. ____________________________________________________ Comparing your life with others is always a losing proposition because there will always be people who “appear” to be better off than you and seemingly live the perfect life. After all, we always compare the worst of what we know about ourselves to the best assumptions that we make about others. Be advised, their life is never as perfect as your mind makes it out to be.
3. ____________________________________________________ There is an infinite number of categories upon which you can compare yourself and an almost infinite number of people to compare yourself to. Once you start down that road, you will never, ever find an end.
4. ____________________________________________________ How you measure up against others holds absolutely no importance in your life anyway. It simply makes no difference. The goal of life is not to be better than 50% of the other people on the planet. The goal of life is to be the best you that you can possibly be.
5. ____________________________________________________ You can control one life—yours. When we consistently compare ourselves to others, we waste precious energy focusing on other peoples’ lives rather than our own.
6. ____________________________________________________ Comparing yourself to others will always cause you to regret what you aren’t, rather than allow you to enjoy who you are. It will always steal the joy and happiness that is within your reach and place it just outside of your reach instead.
Part 2
Now read the second part of the article. Again, for each piece of advice, choose the correct opening sentence from the list below.
A. Focus inward.
B. Live as intentionally as possible.
C. Realize life is not a competition.
D. Celebrate who you are.
E. Remember that nobody is perfect.
F. Recognize the inherent problems in comparing yourself to another.
Many a contented life has been stolen by the unhealthy habit of comparing ourselves to others. Comparing ourselves to others will always rob us of gratitude, joy, and fulfillment. But even more than that, it prevents us from fully living our lives. It calls us to envy someone else’s life and seek theirs rather than ours. It robs us of our most precious possession: life itself. And while the temptation to compare may never be completely eliminated, there are certainly some practical steps that we can take to move past it.
How can we stop comparing ourselves to others? Here are some helpful steps:
1. ____________________________________________________ Take a good look at the list above. Why would we want any habit in our life that promotes feelings of inferiority? Or consistently promotes envy, competition, and strife with no end in sight? Sometimes, just a reminder of the foolishness contained in the habit is the most important step in overcoming it.
2. ____________________________________________________ There are many wonderful things about your life. You are an artist … or a businessman … or a mother … or a good listener … or a generous soul. You have much to celebrate and are entirely unique. Any comparison between you and another person is like comparing apples to oranges. They aren’t living your life, you are. Therefore, you should expect the results to be completely different.
3. ____________________________________________________ Value generosity, humility, goodness, kindness, and love. Begin to focus on developing the inward qualities of a simplified life and the externals will lose their beauty. And the quicker we find beauty on the inside, the sooner we’ll stop comparing things on the outside (skin-deep beauty, paycheques, or power).
4. ____________________________________________________ There may be times when competition is appropriate, but life is not one of them. We have all been thrown together at this exact moment on this exact planet. And the sooner we stop competing against others to “win,” the faster we can start working together to figure it out.
5. ____________________________________________________ We live in a society that glamorizes perfection. Consider that magazine racks are full of models and celebrities with perfect faces telling one-sided stories of great triumph and fulfillment. One important step to avoiding the lure of comparison is to remember that one snapshot in time never tells the whole story. The story is never told of the hours in a make-up room or the photo editing technique to cover the blemishes. The story is rarely told of their insecurities or failures (except to mention how they overcame them). That story doesn’t sell nearly as many magazines. But the truth remains: there are no perfect people—including you and including me.
6. ____________________________________________________ Too many people live their lives without intentionality or thought. They rarely find a quiet moment to sit in meditation or solitude and examine their life—who they are and who they are becoming. As a result, lives are lived as a reaction to the events around them. But when a life is lived intentionally and thoughtfully, the comparison game becomes less attractive.
As humans, it is in our nature to compare ourselves to others. But nothing good ever comes from it. So let’s stop comparing ourselves to others. We were not born to live their life. There is no sense wasting our life (or energy) being jealous of theirs. Instead, let’s start living our lives. Let’s determine today to be good at it. After all, we only get one shot.
By Joshua Becker
Source: http://www.becomingminimalist.com/stop-comparing-your-life-start-living-it/
Used with permission
Questions
A. Check Your Understanding
Answer the following questions in your own words.
1. What is the difference between measurable and unmeasurable points of comparison? Give two examples of each.
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2. What point does the author make about other people that you might compare yourself to?
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3. Why will comparing yourself to others make you unhappy?
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4. What is another way to say each of these sentences?
a) Net worth has never been a good indicator of self-worth. (Part 1, point 1)
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b) How you measure up against others holds absolutely no importance in your life anyway. (Part 1, point 4)
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c) Any comparison between you and another person is like comparing apples to oranges. (Part 2, point 2)
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d) … when a life is lived intentionally and thoughtfully, the comparison game becomes less attractive. (Part 2, point 6)
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B. Develop Your Vocabulary
Match each word with the correct meaning.
1. inherent (Part 1, intro.) regularly
2. objectively (Part 1, point 1) state of not being as good as others
3. assumptions (Part 1, point 2) unlimited
4. infinite (Part 1, point 3) state of being alone
5. consistently (Part 1, point 5) purpose
6. inferiority (Part 2, point 1) feelings of lack of confidence
7. glamorize (Part 2, point 5) make appear more attractive
8. insecurities (Part 2, point 5) not in a biased way
9. intentionality (Part 2, point 6) basic, permanent
10. solitude (Part 2, point 6) beliefs not based on evidence
Choose five of the words above. Write a sentence of your own using each word.
1. ________________________________________________________________________
2. ________________________________________________________________________
3. ________________________________________________________________________
4. ________________________________________________________________________
5. ________________________________________________________________________
C. Think about It
Think about the following questions. Write your thoughts, or discuss your ideas with your class.
1. What can you infer about the author, Joshua Becker? What kind of person is he? Write three adjectives to describe the author.
a) ______________________________________________________________________
b) ______________________________________________________________________
c) ______________________________________________________________________
2. Which of the author’s points do you think is the most valuable? Why?
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3. Do you think comparing yourself to others is always negative behaviour? Can you think of any positive effects of comparing yourself to others?
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