Section 4
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Enter CINESIAS.
Who is this that stands within our lines?
CINESIAS
I.
LYSISTRATA
A man?
CINESIAS
Too much a man!
LYSISTRATA
Then be off at once.
CINESIAS
Who are you that thus eject me?
LYSISTRATA
Guard for the day.
CINESIAS
By all the gods, then call Myrrhine hither.
LYSISTRATA
So, call Myrrhine hither! Who are you?
CINESIAS
I am her husband Cinesias, son of Anthros.
LYSISTRATA
Welcome, dear friend! That glorious name of yours
Is quite familiar in our ranks. Your wife
Continually has it in her mouth.
She cannot touch an apple or an egg
But she must say, "This to Cinesias!"
CINESIAS
O is that true?
LYSISTRATA
By Aphrodite, it is.
If the conversation strikes on men, your wife
Cuts in with, "All are boobies by Cinesias."
CINESIAS
Then call her here.
LYSISTRATA
And what am I to get?
CINESIAS
This, if you want it.... See, what I have here.
But not to take away.
LYSISTRATA
Then I'll call her.
CINESIAS
Be quick, be quick. All grace is wiped from life
Since she went away. O sad, sad am I
When there I enter on that loneliness,
And wine is unvintaged of the sun's flavour.
And food is tasteless. But I've put on weight.
MYRRHINE (_above_)
I love him O so much! but he won't have it.
Don't call me down to him.
CINESIAS
Sweet little Myrrhine!
What do you mean? Come here.
MYRRHINE
O no I won't.
Why are you calling me? You don't want me.
CINESIAS
Not want you! with this week-old strength of love.
MYRRHINE
Farewell.
CINESIAS
Don't go, please don't go, Myrrhine.
At least you'll hear our child. Call your mother, lad.
CHILD
Mummy ... mummy ... mummy!
CINESIAS
There now, don't you feel pity for the child?
He's not been fed or washed now for six days.
MYRRHINE
I certainly pity him with so heartless a father.
CINESIAS
Come down, my sweetest, come for the child's sake.
MYRRHINE
A trying life it is to be a mother!
I suppose I'd better go. _She comes down._
CINESIAS
How much younger she looks,
How fresher and how prettier! Myrrhine,
Lift up your lovely face, your disdainful face;
And your ankle ... let your scorn step out its worst;
It only rubs me to more ardor here.
MYRRHINE (_playing with the child_)
You're as innocent as he's iniquitous.
Let me kiss you, honey-petting, mother's darling.
CINESIAS
How wrong to follow other women's counsel
And let loose all these throbbing voids in yourself
As well as in me. Don't you go throb-throb?
MYRRHINE
Take away your hands.
CINESIAS
Everything in the house
Is being ruined.
MYRRHINE
I don't care at all.
CINESIAS
The roosters are picking all your web to rags.
Do you mind that?
MYRRHINE
Not I.
CINESIAS
What time we've wasted
We might have drenched with Paphian laughter, flung
On Aphrodite's Mysteries. O come here.
MYRRHINE
Not till a treaty finishes the war.
CINESIAS
If you must have it, then we'll get it done.
MYRRHINE
Do it and I'll come home. Till then I am bound.
CINESIAS
Well, can't your oath perhaps be got around?
MYRRHINE
No ... no ... still I'll not say that I don't love you.
CINESIAS
You love me! Then dear girl, let me also love you.
MYRRHINE
You must be joking. The boy's looking on.
CINESIAS
Here, Manes, take the child home!... There, he's gone.
There's nothing in the way now. Come to the point.
MYRRHINE
Here in the open! In plain sight?
CINESIAS
In Pan's cave.
A splendid place.
MYRRHINE
Where shall I dress my hair again
Before returning to the citadel?
CINESIAS
You can easily primp yourself in the Clepsydra.
MYRRHINE
But how can I break my oath?
CINESIAS
Leave that to me,
I'll take all risk.
MYRRHINE
Well, I'll make you comfortable.
CINESIAS
Don't worry. I'd as soon lie on the grass.
MYRRHINE
No, by Apollo, in spite of all your faults
I won't have you lying on the nasty earth.
(_From here MYRRHINE keeps on going off to fetch things._)
CINESIAS
Ah, how she loves me.
MYRRHINE
Rest there on the bench,
While I arrange my clothes. O what a nuisance,
I must find some cushions first.
CINESIAS
Why some cushions?
Please don't get them!
MYRRHINE
What? The plain, hard wood?
Never, by Artemis! That would be too vulgar.
CINESIAS
Open your arms!
MYRRHINE
No. Wait a second.
CINESIAS
O....
Then hurry back again.
MYRRHINE
Here the cushions are.
Lie down while I--O dear! But what a shame,
You need more pillows.
CINESIAS
I don't want them, dear.
MYRRHINE
But I do.
CINESIAS
Thwarted affection mine,
They treat you just like Heracles at a feast
With cheats of dainties, O disappointing arms!
MYRRHINE
Raise up your head.
CINESIAS
There, that's everything at last.
MYRRHINE
Yes, all.
CINESIAS
Then run to my arms, you golden girl.
MYRRHINE
I'm loosening my girdle now. But you've not forgotten?
You're not deceiving me about the Treaty?
CINESIAS
No, by my life, I'm not.
MYRRHINE
Why, you've no blanket.
CINESIAS
It's not the silly blanket's warmth but yours I want.
MYRRHINE
Never mind. You'll soon have both. I'll come straight back.
CINESIAS
The woman will choke me with her coverlets.
MYRRHINE
Get up a moment.
CINESIAS
I'm up high enough.
MYRRHINE
Would you like me to perfume you?
CINESIAS
By Apollo, no!
MYRRHINE
By Aphrodite, I'll do it anyway.
CINESIAS
Lord Zeus, may she soon use up all the myrrh.
MYRRHINE
Stretch out your hand. Take it and rub it in.
CINESIAS
Hmm, it's not as fragrant as might be; that is,
Not before it's smeared. It doesn't smell of kisses.
MYRRHINE
How silly I am: I've brought you Rhodian scents.
CINESIAS
It's good enough, leave it, love.
MYRRHINE
You must be jesting.
CINESIAS
Plague rack the man who first compounded scent!
MYRRHINE
Here, take this flask.
CINESIAS
I've a far better one.
Don't tease me, come here, and get nothing more.
MYRRHINE
I'm coming.... I'm just drawing off my shoes....
You're sure you will vote for Peace?
CINESIAS
I'll think about it.
_She runs off._
I'm dead: the woman's worn me all away.
She's gone and left me with an anguished pulse.
MEN
Baulked in your amorous delight
How melancholy is your plight.
With sympathy your case I view;
For I am sure it's hard on you.
What human being could sustain
This unforeseen domestic strain,
And not a single trace
Of willing women in the place!
CINESIAS
O Zeus, what throbbing suffering!
MEN
She did it all, the harlot, she
With her atrocious harlotry.
WOMEN
Nay, rather call her darling-sweet.
MEN
What, sweet? She's a rude, wicked thing.
CINESIAS
A wicked thing, as I repeat.
O Zeus, O Zeus,
Canst Thou not suddenly let loose
Some twirling hurricane to tear
Her flapping up along the air
And drop her, when she's whirled around,
Here to the ground
Neatly impaled upon the stake
That's ready upright for her sake.
_He goes out._
Enter SPARTAN HERALD.
_The_ MAGISTRATE _comes forward_.
HERALD
What here gabs the Senate an' the Prytanes?
I've fetcht despatches for them.
MAGISTRATE
Are you a man
Or a monstrosity?
HERALD
My scrimp-brained lad,
I'm a herald, as ye see, who hae come frae Sparta
Anent a Peace.
MAGISTRATE
Then why do you hide that lance
That sticks out under your arms?
HERALD.
I've brought no lance.
MAGISTRATE
Then why do you turn aside and hold your cloak
So far out from your body? Is your groin swollen
With stress of travelling?
HERALD
By Castor, I'll swear
The man is wud.
MAGISTRATE
Indeed, your cloak is wide,
My rascal fellow.
HERALD
But I tell ye No!
Enow o' fleering!
MAGISTRATE
Well, what is it then?
HERALD
It's my despatch cane.
MAGISTRATE
Of course--a Spartan cane!
But speak right out. I know all this too well.
Are new privations springing up in Sparta?
HERALD
Och, hard as could be: in lofty lusty columns
Our allies stand united. We maun get Pellene.
MAGISTRATE
Whence has this evil come? Is it from Pan?
HERALD
No. Lampito first ran asklent, then the others
Sprinted after her example, and blocked, the hizzies,
Their wames unskaithed against our every fleech.
MAGISTRATE
What did you do?
HERALD
We are broken, and bent double,
Limp like men carrying lanthorns in great winds
About the city. They winna let us even
Wi' lightest neif skim their primsie pretties
Till we've concluded Peace-terms wi' a' Hellas.
MAGISTRATE
So the conspiracy is universal;
This proves it. Then return to Sparta. Bid them
Send envoys with full powers to treat of Peace;
And I will urge the Senate here to choose
Plenipotentiary ambassadors,
As argument adducing this connection.
HERALD
I'm off. Your wisdom none could contravert.
_They retire._
