7.3: Drafting Effective Sentences
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- 174880
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\(\newcommand{\avec}{\mathbf a}\) \(\newcommand{\bvec}{\mathbf b}\) \(\newcommand{\cvec}{\mathbf c}\) \(\newcommand{\dvec}{\mathbf d}\) \(\newcommand{\dtil}{\widetilde{\mathbf d}}\) \(\newcommand{\evec}{\mathbf e}\) \(\newcommand{\fvec}{\mathbf f}\) \(\newcommand{\nvec}{\mathbf n}\) \(\newcommand{\pvec}{\mathbf p}\) \(\newcommand{\qvec}{\mathbf q}\) \(\newcommand{\svec}{\mathbf s}\) \(\newcommand{\tvec}{\mathbf t}\) \(\newcommand{\uvec}{\mathbf u}\) \(\newcommand{\vvec}{\mathbf v}\) \(\newcommand{\wvec}{\mathbf w}\) \(\newcommand{\xvec}{\mathbf x}\) \(\newcommand{\yvec}{\mathbf y}\) \(\newcommand{\zvec}{\mathbf z}\) \(\newcommand{\rvec}{\mathbf r}\) \(\newcommand{\mvec}{\mathbf m}\) \(\newcommand{\zerovec}{\mathbf 0}\) \(\newcommand{\onevec}{\mathbf 1}\) \(\newcommand{\real}{\mathbb R}\) \(\newcommand{\twovec}[2]{\left[\begin{array}{r}#1 \\ #2 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\ctwovec}[2]{\left[\begin{array}{c}#1 \\ #2 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\threevec}[3]{\left[\begin{array}{r}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\cthreevec}[3]{\left[\begin{array}{c}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\fourvec}[4]{\left[\begin{array}{r}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \\ #4 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\cfourvec}[4]{\left[\begin{array}{c}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \\ #4 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\fivevec}[5]{\left[\begin{array}{r}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \\ #4 \\ #5 \\ \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\cfivevec}[5]{\left[\begin{array}{c}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \\ #4 \\ #5 \\ \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\mattwo}[4]{\left[\begin{array}{rr}#1 \amp #2 \\ #3 \amp #4 \\ \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\laspan}[1]{\text{Span}\{#1\}}\) \(\newcommand{\bcal}{\cal B}\) \(\newcommand{\ccal}{\cal C}\) \(\newcommand{\scal}{\cal S}\) \(\newcommand{\wcal}{\cal W}\) \(\newcommand{\ecal}{\cal E}\) \(\newcommand{\coords}[2]{\left\{#1\right\}_{#2}}\) \(\newcommand{\gray}[1]{\color{gray}{#1}}\) \(\newcommand{\lgray}[1]{\color{lightgray}{#1}}\) \(\newcommand{\rank}{\operatorname{rank}}\) \(\newcommand{\row}{\text{Row}}\) \(\newcommand{\col}{\text{Col}}\) \(\renewcommand{\row}{\text{Row}}\) \(\newcommand{\nul}{\text{Nul}}\) \(\newcommand{\var}{\text{Var}}\) \(\newcommand{\corr}{\text{corr}}\) \(\newcommand{\len}[1]{\left|#1\right|}\) \(\newcommand{\bbar}{\overline{\bvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\bhat}{\widehat{\bvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\bperp}{\bvec^\perp}\) \(\newcommand{\xhat}{\widehat{\xvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\vhat}{\widehat{\vvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\uhat}{\widehat{\uvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\what}{\widehat{\wvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\Sighat}{\widehat{\Sigma}}\) \(\newcommand{\lt}{<}\) \(\newcommand{\gt}{>}\) \(\newcommand{\amp}{&}\) \(\definecolor{fillinmathshade}{gray}{0.9}\)To draft clear and concise sentences, choose clear and concise words and phrases to make up your sentences. In this section, we’ll cover some of the most important considerations when writing effective sentences: active voice, smothered verbs, parallel construction, misplaced modifiers, using the right word for the job and avoiding wordy words and phrases. Let’s get started with probably the most common pitfall to clear and concise sentences-not writing actively.
Write Actively: Doers Before Verbs
Is your active voice all bottled up? Active voice shows the subject as the actor. For example: The girl sang a song. By using mostly active voice, your writing is clear, concise and alive-it reaches out to the reader and gets to the point quickly with fewer words. Unfortunately, many writers overuse passive voice. Passive voice shows the subject as receiver of the action. For example: A song was sung by her. Besides lengthening and twisting sentences, passive verbs often muddy them. Whereas active sentences must have doers, passive ones are complete without them. When you overuse passive voice and reverse the natural subject-verb-object pattern, your writing becomes lifeless.
- Your support is appreciated ...
- Requisitions should be submitted ...
- The IG team will be appointed ...
- It is requested that you submit ...
The actor (or doer) in the sentence is either obscure, absent altogether or just lying there. Who appreciates? Who should requisition? Who appoints? Why not write ...
- I appreciate your support ...
- Submit your requisitions ...
- Colonel Hall will appoint the IG team ...
- Please submit ...
The Symptoms of Passive Voice and Three Cures
How can you diagnose passive voice? You don’t have to be a grammarian to recognize passive voice. First, find the verb by asking yourself, "What’s happening in this sentence?" Then find the actor by asking, "Who’s doing it?" If the actor comes after the verb, it’s passive voice. Also, watch for these forms of the verb to be (am, is, are, was, were, be, being, been) and a main verb usually ending in -ed or -en. Let’s look at a few examples and then try the cures, below.
Passive: The mouse was eaten by the cat.
Active: The cat ate the mouse.
Passive: Livelier sentences will be written by you.
Active: You will write livelier sentences.
Passive: Water is drunk by everybody.
Active: Everybody drinks water.
Put the Actor (Doer) Before the Verb.
This: The handlers must have broken the part.
Not: The part must have been broken by the handlers.
Drop Part of the Verb.
This: The results are in the attachment.
Not: The results are listed in the attachment.
Change the Verb.
This: The replacement has not arrived yet.
Not: The replacement has not been received yet.
Though most writers overuse passive voice, sometimes it’s appropriate. Clear and forceful language may be inappropriate in diplomacy or in political negotiations. Passive voice is also used to soften bad news, or when the doer or actor of the action is unknown, unimportant, obvious or better left unnamed. Here are a few examples:
The part was shipped on 1 June. (The doer is unimportant.)
Presidents are elected every four years. (The doer is obvious.)
Christmas has been scheduled as a workday. (The doer is better left unnamed.)
The bottom line: Passive voice is wordy, indirect, unclear and reverses the natural order of English. Active voice is clear and concise. Using verbs correctly-actively-is key to writing clear, concise and interesting sentences. Activate your writing!
Smothered Verbs
Make your verbs do the work for you. Weak writing relies on general verbs that take extra words to complete their meaning. Don’t use a general verb (make) plus extra words (a choice) when you can use one specific verb (choose).
Wordy: The IG team held a meeting to give consideration to the printing issue.
Better: The IG team met to consider the printing issue.
Wordy: They made the decision to give their approval.
Better: They decided to approve it.
Here’s another tip on verbs-watch out for words ending in -ion and -ment-these are verbs turned into nouns. Change these nouns to verbs: your sentences will be shorter and livelier.
Wordy: Use that format for the preparation of your command history.
Better: Use that format to prepare your command history.
Wordy: The settlement of travel claims involves the examination of orders.
Better: Settling travel claims involves examining orders.
We’ve spent a lot of time looking at verbs because they’re the most important words in your sentences. The bottom line: keep verbs active, lively, specific, concise and out in front, not hidden. Another potential stumbling block for readers is "unparallelism.”
Parallel Construction (Parallelism)
Use a consistent pattern when making a list. If your sentence contains a series of items separated by commas, keep the grammatical construction similar-if two of three items start with a verb, make the third item start with a verb. Violations occur when writers mix things and actions, statements and questions, and active and passive instructions. The trick is to be consistent. Make ideas of equal importance look equal.
Needs work: The functions of a military staff are to advise the commander, transmit instructions and implementation of decisions. [Advise and transmit are verbs, while implementation is a noun.]
Acceptable: The functions of a military staff are to advise the commander, transmit instructions and implement decisions. [Parallel ideas are now written in the same grammatical form.]
Needs work: The security policeman told us to observe the speed limit and we should dim our lights. [Parallel ideas are not written in the same grammatical form.]
Acceptable: The security policeman told us to observe the speed limit and to dim our lights.
Needs work: Universal military values include that we should act with integrity, dedication to duty, the belief that freedom is worth dying for and service before self.
Acceptable: Universal military values include commitment to integrity, dedication to duty, service before self, and the belief that freedom is worth dying for.
If one of the items in a list can’t be written in the same grammatical structure, place it at the end of the sentence. In the previous example, "the belief that freedom is worth dying for" does not match the three-word construction of the other items, but its placement helps the sentence’s readability. Active voice, strong verbs and parallelism can help make your sentences clear and concise. Now, let’s look at some more things you can do to write effective sentences-using the right word for the job.
Use the Right Word for the Job
Without generalizations and abstractions, and lots of them, we would drown in detail. We sum up vast amounts of experience when we speak of dedication, programs, hardware and lines of authority. But such abstract language isn’t likely to evoke the same experiences in each reader’s mind. Lazy writing overuses vague terms such as immense dedication, enhanced programs, viable hardware and responsive lines of authority. It especially weakens job descriptions and performance evaluations, etc.
Be Concrete
Do not write "The commander will give guidance," or "The equipment must meet specs." Your reader might wonder what kind of guidance or what kind of specs? Neither you nor your readers can tackle the problem until you are specific. Be as definite as the situation permits. Include only the ideas your reader needs and then give those ideas no more words than they deserve.
Table \(7.3.1\) Use the Right Word for the Job
| For | Try | For | Try |
| commanders | MAJCOM commanders | Ford | Focus |
| headace | migraine | emotion | love |
| car, vehicle | Ford | plane | F-22 |
| smarphone | iPhone 4 | socialize | minge, meet |
Know Various Shades of Meaning.
Use different words to express various shades of meaning. The writer with an adequate vocabulary writes about the aroma of a cigar, the fragrance of a flower, the scent of perfume or the odor of gas instead of the smell of all these things.
Judge the Jargon
The aim of all communication is to make a personal contact in the simplest possible way, and the simplest way is to use familiar, everyday words. Above all, it must be adapted to specific circumstances with a minimum of jargon. Jargon consists of "shorthand" words, phrases or abbreviations that are peculiar to a relatively small group of people. DEROS (Date Eligible to Return from Overseas) and AWOL (Absent Without Leave) are examples of military jargon. Every profession has it. NPO which means Nil Per Os (nothing by mouth) and contusion (bruise) are examples of medical jargon. Writers often use jargon in their sentences to fill space and impress the naive. Unfortunately, overuse of jargon can backfire on you by actually confusing your reader. CAUTION! Before you use jargon, make sure you have carefully assessed the audience and use terms that will be familiar to them. Keep it simple with everyday words and phrases, or at least explain any jargon you must use. If you use an abbreviation, spell it out the first time it appears. If it appears only twice or infrequently, spell out the term every time and avoid the abbreviation entirely. For more on abbreviations see Appendix \(1 .\)
Clichés
Clichés are expressions that have lost their impact because they have been overused. Strive for originality in your choice of words and phrases. The list of clichés below is not exhaustive. You just may not find your favorite here.
Table \(7.3.2\) Clichés
| acid test | add insult to injury | armed to the teeth |
| as a matter of fact | at a loss for words | banker's hours |
| battle royal | beat a hasty retreat | beautyr and the beast |
| benefit of the doubt | better late than never | bewildering variety |
| beyond the shadow of a doubt | bite the dust | blazing inferno |
| blessed event | blessing in disguise | blissful ignorance |
| brave as a lion | break of day | bright and early |
| bull in a china shop | burn one's bridges | burn the midnight oil |
| burning issue | bury the hatchet | busy as a bee |
| by the same token | calm before the storm | cherished belief |
| clear the decks | club-wielding police | colorful scene |
| conspicuous by its absence | cool as a cucumber | coveted award |
| crack of dawn | crack troops | cutting edge |
| dramatic new move | dread disease | dream come true |
| drop in the bucket | easier said than done | fame and fortune |
| feast or famine | fickle fortune | food for thought |
| from the face of the earth | gentle hint | glaring omission |
| glutton for punishment | gory details | grief stricken |
| grim reaper | hammer out (an agreement) | hand in glove |
| happy couple | hard as a rock | head over heels in love |
| heart of gold | heavily armed troops | honest as the day is long |
| hook, line and sinker | hungry as wolves | in short supply |
| in this day and age | intensive investigation | iron out (problems) |
| irony of fate | it goes without saying | Lady Luck |
| lash out | last but not least | last-ditch stand |
| leaps and bounds | leave no stone unturned | lend a helping hand |
| light at the end of the tunnel | lightning speed | limp into port |
| lock, stock, and barrel | long arm of the law | man in the street |
| marvels of science | matrimonial bliss (knot) | meager pension |
| miraculous escape | moment of truth | more than meets the eye |
| Mother Nature | move into high gear | never a dull moment |
| Old Man Winter | one more than one occasion | paint a grim picture |
| pay the supreme penalty | picture of health | pillar of (the church, society) |
| pinpoint the cause | police dragnet | pool of blood |
| posh resort | powder keg | predawn darkness |
| prestigious law firm | proud heritage | proud parents |
| pursuit of excellence | quick as a flash | radiant bride |
| red faces, red-faced | reign supreme | reins of government |
| roud of applause | rushed to the scene | sadder but wiser |
| scantily clad | scintilla of evidence | scurried to shelter |
| selling like hotcakes | sharp as a razor | sings like a bird |
| spearheading the campaign | spirited debate | spotlessly clean |
| sprawling base, facility | spreading like wildfire | steaming jungle |
| stick out like a sore thumb | storm of protest | stranger than fiction |
| supreme sacrifice | surprise move | sweep under the rug |
| sweet harmony | sweetness and light | tempest in a teapot |
| tender mercies | terror stricken | tip of the iceberg |
| to no avail | too numerous to mention | tower of strength |
| tragic death | trail of death and destruction | true colors |
| vanish in thin air | walking encyclopedia | wave of the future |
| wealth of information | whirlwind campaign | wouldn't touch that with a 10-foot pole |
Easily Confused Words
Many writers and speakers frequently confuse the meaning of some words. Here’s a small list of some easily confused words. Be on the lookout for others.
Table \(7.3.3\) Easily Confused Words
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Doubleheaders
The Word by Rene J. Cappon details how to avoid writing a project’s importance and significance when importance will do. Even a person’s success and achievement is okay with just success. Pairs of words with similar meanings add bulk. Although test and evaluate are different, the differences may not be important for all audiences. When you’re tempted to use two words, try one to say it all. Thomas Jefferson said: "The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do."
Table \(7.3.4\) Doubleheaders
| aid and abet | each and every | ready and willing |
| beck and call | fair and just | right and proper |
| betwixt and between | few and far between | safe and sound |
| bits and pieces | irrelevant and immaterial | shy and withdrawn |
| blunt and brutal | nervous and distraught | smooth and silky |
| bound and determined | nook and cranny | success and achievement |
| clear and simple | null and void | sum and substance |
| confused and bewildered | part and parcel | test and evaluate |
| disgraced and dishonored | pick and choose | various and sundry |
Repetitive Redundancy
Not every noun needs an adjective. Not every adjective needs an adverb. Not every writer has gotten the message. Keep your pencil from adding modifiers to those nouns that need no additional voltage. Serious danger, stern warning, deadly poison, grave crisis are examples; the nouns operate better without the modifiers.
Table \(7.3.5\) Repetitive Redundancy
| absolutely conclusive | advance planning | agricultural crops |
| anthracite coal | ascend upward | assemble together |
| awkward dilemma | basic fundamental | big in size |
| bisect in two | blend together | both alike |
| capitol building | chief protagonist; leading protagonist; or main protagonist | close proximity |
| coalesce together | collaborate together or jointly | complete monopoly |
| completely full | completely unanimous | congregate together |
| connect together | consensus of opinion | continue to persist |
| courthouse building | current or present incumbent | descend downward |
| divisive quarrel | doctorate degree | end result |
| exact counterpart | entirely absent | erupt violently |
| first beginning | fellow colleague | few in number |
| from whence | founder and sink | free gift |
| gather together | fuse together | future plan |
| habitual custom | general public | grateful thanks |
| indivdual person | hired mercenary | hoist up |
| join together | invited guest | irreducible minimum |
| lonely hermit | knots per hour | large in size |
| mutual cooperation | meaningless gibberish | merge together |
| new record | necessary need | new innovation |
| old antique | new recruit | old adage |
| original founder | opening gambit | organic life |
| past history | original prototype | passing fad |
| personal opinion | patently obvious | personal friend |
| protrude out | pointed barb | present incumbent |
| recoil back | real fact | recall back |
| shuttle back and forth | recur again or repeatedly | short in length or height |
| small in size | single unit | skirt around |
| temporary reprieve | tall in height | two twins |
| universal panacea | true facts | ultimate outcome |
| vitally necessary | violent explosion | visible to the eye |
Wordy Words and Phrases vs. Simpler Words and Phrases
Many people use certain wordy words and needless phrases, such as phrases introduced by prepositions like at, on, for, in, to and by. They don’t add substance; they weaken the message by cluttering the words that carry meaning. So prune the deadwood. The longer it takes to say something, the weaker you come across.
The use of simpler words and phrases in your communications may help convey your meaning; however, there are times when more formal or complex words and phrases convey the intended meaning best and are appropriate. For example, contractions are generally not used in formal policy letters or directions intended for a wide audience, such as an entire squadron, group, wing, or higher, or in academic work. This ensures clarity over simplicity. Your situation will dictate which is best to use; when appropriate, use simpler words and phrases.
Table \(7.3.6\) Wordy Words and Phrases vs. Simpler Words and Phrases
| Instead of | Try | Instead of | Try |
| a gread deal of | much | acitvate | start, drive, put into action, turn on |
| a minimum of | at least | active consideration | consider |
| a number of | some, many, few | activities | actions |
| a period of (2 days) | for | actual | real, true |
| abandon | give up | actual emergency | emergency |
| abet | help, assist, aid | actual facts | facts |
| abeyance (hold in) | delay, postpone, wait | actuate | induce, move, drive, impel |
| abridge | shorten, condense | additional | added, more, other further |
| abrogate | do away with, abolish, cancel, revoke | address | speech, speak of, speak to, deal with |
| accelerate | speed up, hasten | adequate | enough, plenty |
| accept | take, receive | adjacent to | next to |
| accommodate | make fit, make room for, allow for | advanced plans | plans |
| accompany | go with | advantageous | helpful, useful, beneficial, good |
| accomplish | carry out, do complete | adverse to | against, opposed to |
| accomplish (a form) | fill out, complete, fill in, prepare | advise | recommend, tell inform |
| according to | per | advised (keep me) | informed (or "inform me") |
| accordingly | so, then, therefore | affirmative | agree, assent to, say "yes" |
| accrue | add, gain | affix | put, stick, attach, place, add |
| accumulate | gather, amass, collect | affix a signature | sign |
| accurate | correct, exact, right | afford an opportunity | allow, let, permit |
| acheive | do, make | after the conclusion of | after |
| achieve the maximum | get the most from, excel | agency | office |
| acquire | get, gain, earn, win | aggregate | all, total, sum, combined, whole, entire |
| aircraft | military plane | authority | sanction, control, guidance |
| all of | all | authorize | allow, let, permit, empower, prescribe |
| allegation | charge, claim, assertion | autonomous | independent |
| alleviate | ease, relieve, lessen | avail yourself of | use |
| allotment | share, portion | availability | presence, use |
| along the lines of | like, similar to | based on the fact that | because |
| alter, alteration | change | be acquainted with | know |
| alternative | choice, option, substitute | be cognizant of | know |
| amalgamate | merge, combine, unite, mix | be of assistance to | assist, help, aid |
| ambient | surrounding | befall | happen, occur |
| ameliorate | better, improve | behest | requrest, order |
| annually | yearly | behoove | (avoid) proper, helpful, beneficial |
| antedate | precede | benefit | help |
| anticipate | expect, forsee | bestow | give |
| anipathy | dislike, distaste | betterment | improvement |
| antithesis | opposite, contrast | biannual | twice a year |
| anxiety | fear | biennial | once in 2 years |
| apprarent | clear, plain, visible | bilateral | two sided |
| apparently | seemingly, clearly | bona fide | real, genuine, sincere |
| appear | seem | brief (duration) | short, quick |
| appellation | name | brook (tolerate) | allow |
| append | add, attach | burgeoning | increasing, growing |
| applicable | which applies, proper, correct, suitable | by menas of | by, with |
| application | use (noun) | by virtue of | because, by, under |
| appreciable | many | came to an end | ended |
| appreciate | value | capability | ability |
| apprise | tell, inform | capable | able |
| appropriate | proper, right, apt, pertinent, fit | care should be taken | be careful, take care |
| approximately | about, nearly, almost | category | class, group |
| are desirous of | want to | characteristic | trait (noun), typical of (adjective) |
| are in receipt of | received | characterize | describe, portray |
| as a matter of fact | in fact | circuitous | roundabout |
| as a means of | to | classify | arrange |
| as a result of | because | close proximity | close, near |
| as against | against | cognizant of | aware of, know, understand, comprehend |
| as and when | as, when (not both) | as at present advised | as advised |
| coincidentally | at the same time | as of (this date) | by (today), today |
| collaboration | (see "cooperation") | as prescribed by | under, per |
| colloquy | discussion, talk | as to whether | whether, if |
| combine | join | ascertain | find out, learn, make sure |
| combined | joint | assert | claim, declare |
| comes into conflict | conflicts | assimilate | absorb, digest, join, include |
| commence | begin, start | assist, assistance | aid, help |
| commensurate | equal to, to agree with | at a later date | later |
| commensurate with | corresponding, according, equal to | at a much greater rate | faster, more quickly |
| communicate verbally | talk, discuss, say, tell | at all times | always |
| compensate, compensation | pay | at an early date | soon |
| at present | now, currently, presently | comply (with) | follow, carry out, meet, satisfy |
| at such time | when | component | part |
| at the present time | currently, at present, now | comprehend | grasp, take in, understand |
| at the time of | when | comprehensive | all-inclusive, thorough |
| at this juncutre (time) | now | comprise | form, include, make up, contain |
| at your earliest convenience (formal) | as soon as you can (informal, more direct) | comprised of | made up of, consists of |
| concerning | about, on | attached herewith is | here is |
| conclude | close, end, think, figure, decide | attached please find | here is, attached is, enclosed is |
| conclusion | end | attain | reach, gain, achieve |
| concur | agree, approve | attempt | try |
| condition | state, event, facts | attempts to | tries |
| conduct (verb) | carry out, manage, direct, lead | attention is invited to | note, see |
| confront | face, meet, oppose | attired | dressed |
| conjecture | guess | augment | add,increase, extend, enlarge, raise |
| connection | link, tie | authored | wrote |
| connotation | meaning | authroitative | valid, official |
| consensus of opinion | agreement, verdict, general, view | consequently | so, therefore |
| due to the fact that | because of hence, since, due to | consider | look at think about, regard |
| duplicate | copy | considerable (amount) | large, great |
| duration | time, period | consolidate | combine, join, merge |
| during such time | while | constitutes | is, forms, makes up |
| during the periods when | when | construct | build, make |
| consult | ask | echelon | level, grade, rank |
| consummate | finish, complete | edifice | building |
| contained in | in | educator | teacher, trainer |
| containing | has, that have, etc. | effect (verb) | make, cause, bring about |
| contains | has | effect an improvement | improve |
| contemporaneously | at the same time | effectuate | carry out, put into effect |
| contiguous | next to, near, touching | ellaborate (on) | expand on, develop |
| continue | keep on | elapsed (time has) | passed |
| contractual agreement | agreement, contract | elect | choose, pick |
| contribute | give | elementary | simple, basic |
| cooperate together | cooperate, help | elevated | height, altitude |
| cooperation | jointly, with | elicit | draw out, bring out, prompt, cause |
| coordination | staff action, relate, agree, conform | eliminate | cut, drop, end, remove, omit, delete |
| couched | phrased, worded | elimination | removal, discarding, omission |
| course of time | time | elucidate | explain, clarify |
| criteria (plural) | standards, rules, yardsticks | emanates | emits, comes from, gives out |
| criterion (singular) | standard, norm | emphasize | stress, point out |
| currently | now (or leave out) | employ | use |
| de-emphasize | play down | enable | let |
| decelerate | slow down, reduce speed | encompass in | include, enclose |
| deem | think, judge, hold, believe | encounter | meet, find, meeting |
| deficiency | defect, shortage, lack | encourage | urge, promote, favor, persuade |
| definitely | final | end product | result, product, outcome |
| delegate authority | empower, assign | end result | end, result, outcome |
| delineate | draw, describe, portray, outline | endeavor | try, effort, action |
| delinquent | late | enhance | increase, raise, heighten, improve |
| demeanor | manner, conduct | ensue | follow, result |
| demise | death | ensure | make sure, see that |
| demonstrate | prove, show, explain | enumerate | count, list |
| depart | leave | envisage | picture, view, have in mind, regard |
| depict | describe, show | equally as | as |
| deprivation | loss | equanimity | poise, blanace |
| deprive | take away, remove, withhold | equitable | fair, just |
| derive | receive, take | equivalent | equal |
| derogatory | damaging, slighting | eradicate | wipe out, remove, destroy, erase |
| descend | go down | erroneous | wrong, mistaken |
| designate | appoint, name, pick, assign, select | especially | chiefly |
| desire | wish, want | essentials | basic, necessary, vital, important |
| detailed | more, full | establish | set up, prove, show, make, set, fix |
| deteriorate | run down, grow worse | estimate | conclude, appraise, judge |
| determination | ruling | evaulate | check, rate, test, measure, analyze price |
| determine | decide, figure, find | detrimental | harmful |
| evaluation | rating | develop | grow, make, take place |
| eventuate | result | dialogue, dialog | talk, discussion |
| every effort will be made | (I/you/we/they) will try | dichotomy | split, separation |
| difficult | hard | everyboyd, everyone | each, all |
| dimension | size | evidence | fact |
| diminish | drop, lessen, reduce, decrease | evidenced | showed |
| disadvantage | drawback, handicap | evident | clear, plain, obvious |
| disallow | reject, deny, refuse | evince | show, display, express |
| disclose | show, reveal, make known | evolution | change, growth |
| discontinue | drop, stop, end | exacerbate | to make more severe, worse or bitter |
| disseminate | issue, send, pass out, spread, announce | examination | checkup, test, check, search, questioning |
| distribute | spread, share, allot | divulge | make known, reveal |
| examine | check, look at or into, test, study, inspect | donate | give |
| donward adjestment | decrease | exceed | go beyond, surpase |
| due in large measure | because, due to | exceedingly | notable, extremely, very |
| excessive | too much, too many | execute | sign, perform, do act |
| give rise to | raise, cause, bring about | exercise (authority) | use |
| goes without saying | (unnecessary) | exhaustive | thorough, complete |
| govern | rule | exhibit | show, display |
| habituate | accustom, make use to, adapt, adjust | exigency | urgend demand, urgent need, emergency |
| has the ability | can | exorbitant | too much, abnormal |
| has the capability | can | expedite | hurry, rush, speed up, fast, quick, hasten |
| has the capability of | is capable of, can, is able to | have the need for | need |
| expeditious | fast, quick, prompt, speedy; exercise care, watch out, take care, use care | have to | must, need to |
| held a meeting | met | expend | pay out, spend, use |
| henceforth | until now | expendable | used up, consumed, replaceable |
| hereby | by this | expenditure | (see "expense") |
| herein | here (often unnecessary) | expense | cost, fee, price, loss, charges |
| heretofore | until now | experience indicates | experience shows, learned |
| hiatus | gap, lapse | experiment | test, try, trial |
| higher degree of | more | expertise | expert opinion, skill, knowledge |
| hitherto | up to now, until now | explain | show, tell |
| hold in abeyance | suspend, delay, wait | expostulate | demand, discuss, object |
| homogeneity | unity, agreement, consensus | extant | existing, current |
| hopefully | I hope | extend | spread, stretch |
| however | but | extensive | large, wide |
| identical | same | extenuating | qualifying, justifying |
| identification | name, designation | external | outer |
| identify | find, name, show, point out, recognize | extinguish | quench, put out |
| if and when | if, when (not both) | fabricate | construct, make, build, invent |
| ilk | sort, kind | facilitate | ease, help along, make easy, further, aid |
| illustrate | show, make clear | factor | reason, cause |
| immediately | at once, now, promptly, quickly | failed to | did not |
| imminent | near | familiarity | knowledge |
| impact | affect (verb), effect (noun) | familiarize | inform, learn, teach |
| impacted | affected, changed, hit | fatuous numskull | jerk |
| impediment | block, barrier | feasible | possible, can be done, workable, practical |
| imperative | urgent | impetus | drive, power, force |
| females | women | implement | carry out, do, do follow, complete, fulfill |
| final | last | implication | impact meaning, effect |
| finalize | complete, finish, conclude, end | importatn | major, greater, main |
| firstly | first | impugn | assail, attack, criticize |
| foe | enemy | impulse | drive, push, thrust |
| for example | such as | in a manner similar to | like, in the same way, as |
| for the purpose of | for, to | in a number of cases | some, often, at times |
| for the reason that | becasue, since | in a position to | can |
| for this reason | so | in a satisfactory manner | satisfactorily |
| for your information | (usually not needed) | forfeit | give up, lose |
| in a situation in which | when | formulate | make, devise, repair |
| in accordance with | by, under, per, according to (AFI XX-XXX, commander's order, law) | forthcoming | coming, future, approaching |
| forthwith | at once, right away | in addition to | also, besides, too, plush |
| fortuitous | by chance, lucky, fortunate | in an effort to | to, so that, so |
| forward | send | in case of | if |
| fragment | piece, part | in close proximity | near, nearby, close |
| frequiently | often | in compliance with the | as directed as requested, request |
| fullest possible extent | as much as possible, fully | in conjunction with | with, together |
| function | act, role, work | in connection with | in, with, on, aobut |
| fundamental | basic, main, primary | in favor of | for |
| furnish | give, send, provide, supply | in its entirety | all of it |
| further more | besides, also | in lieu of | instead of, in place of |
| future date | sometime, later | in order that | for, so, so that |
| gained from | obtained, learned, source | in order to | to |
| gainsay | deny, dispute, contradict | in process of preparation | being prepared |
| generate | produce | germane | relevant, fitting, related |
| in recent past | lately | give consideration to | consider |
| in reference to | regarding, about, on, concerning | give encouragement to | encourage, urge (see "encourage") |
| in regard to | about, concerning, on | give feedback | respond |
| in relation to | about, concerning, on | give instructions to | instruct, direct |
| in respect to | regarding, about, concerning, on | in sufficient time | early or soon enough, ahead of time |
| interpret | grasp, explain, understand | in the amount of | for, of |
| interrogate | question | in the course of | during, in, when |
| investigate | examine, study | in the event of | if |
| irrespective | regardless | in the event that | if, in case |
| is dependent upon | depends on | in the immediate future | soon |
| is in receipt of | receives, got | in the majority of instances | most cases or most times |
| is responsible for obtaining | obtains | in the matter of | in, on |
| is responsible for selection | selects | in the nature of | like |
| in the near future | soon | is symptomatic of | shows |
| in the negative | no, denied, disapproved | it is | (leave out) |
| in the neighborhood | about, around | it is essential | must |
| in the time of | during | it is important to note | note |
| in the vicinity of | near, around | it is obvious that | clearly, obviously |
| in view of | since | it is possible that | may, possibly |
| in view of the above | so, since, therefore | it is recommended | I, we recommend |
| in view of the fact | because, as | it is requested | pelase, request |
| in this day and age | today, nowadays | jeopardize | endanger |
| in this instance | here (often necessary) | jurisdictional authority | control |
| in-depth | (avoid if possible) thorough, complete | justification | grounds, reasons |
| inaccurate | wrong, incorrect | justify | prove |
| inadvertently | accidentally, mistakenly | juxtaposition (in) | alongside, next to |
| in as much as | since, because | knowledge | experienced, well- trained |
| inaugurate | start, begin, open | legislation | law |
| inception | start, beginning | limitations | limits |
| incident to | pertaining, connected with | limited number | few |
| incidental | related, by chance | locate | find |
| incombustible | fireproof, (it) will not burn | location | place, scene, site |
| incorporate | blend, join, merge, include, combine, add | magnitude | size, extent |
| maintain (maintenance) | keep, support (upkeep) | increase | rise, grow, enlarge, add to |
| majority | greatest, longest, most | increment | increase, gain, amount |
| make a decision | decide | incumbent upon | must |
| make a reply | reply | indebtedness | debt |
| make a request | request, ask for | indefinite | vague, uncertain |
| make a statement | state | indeterminate | vague, uncertain |
| make an adjustment | adjust, resolve | indicate | show, write down, call for, point out |
| make every effort | try | indication | sign, evidence |
| make provisions for | provide, do | individual (noun) | person, member |
| mandatory | must, required | individually | each, one at a time, singly |
| manifest (to be) | clear, plain | ineffectual | futile, useless, ineffective |
| manufacture | make, build | inexpensive | cheap, low-priced |
| materialize | appear, take form | infinite | endless |
| materially | greatly | inflammable | (it) burns, flammable, burnable |
| maximal | highest, greatest | inherent | basic, natural |
| maximize | increase | inimical | hostile, unfriendly, opposed |
| maximum | most, greatest | initial (adjective) | first |
| meets with approval | is approved | initially | first, at first |
| mention | refer to | initiate | start, begin, act |
| metamorphosis | change | innate | basic, native, inborn |
| minimal | least, lowest, small | insignificant | slight, trivial, unimportant |
| mitigate | lessen, ease | insofar as | since, for, unimportant |
| mitigate | lessen, ease | insomuch as | since |
| modify | change, moderate, qualify | instance | case, example |
| monitor | check, watch, oversee, regualte | instantaneously | instantly, at once, suddenly |
| multitudinous | populous, large (crowd) | insitute (verb) | set up, start |
| more specifically | for example | integrate | combine |
| most unique | unique | interface | connect, talk, coordinate, join, work together, merge, joint, point of contact, frontier, junction, common boundary |
| negligible | small, trifling | neophyte | new, novice |
| nevertheless | however, even so, but | interpose no objection | do not object |
| nebulous | vague | interpose objections to | disapprove, disagree, object, non-concur |
| necessitate | cause, need, make, require, cause to be | not infrequrently | often |
| portend | predict, mean | not later than | by, before |
| portent | sign, omen | not often | seldom |
| portion | part, share, lot | notwithstanding the fact | although, nonetheless, nevertheless |
| position | place | positively | (often unnecessary) |
| notification | announcement, report, warning | possess | have, own |
| notify | let know, tell | posterior | end, rear |
| numerous | many, most | postpone | put off, delay |
| objective | aim, goal | postulate (verb) | claim, assert, suggest |
| obligate, obligatory | bind, compel | posture (on an issue) | view, position, attitude |
| observe | see | potential (adjective) | possible |
| obtain | get | practicable | possible, workable |
| obviate | prevent, remove, rule out | practically (done) | almost, nearly |
| obvious | plain, clear | precept | order, command, principle, rule of action |
| of great importance | important | of large dimensions | large, big, enormous |
| precipitate (adjective) | rash, sudden, hasty, abrupt | of late | lately |
| preclude | prevent, shut out | of no avail | useless, no use |
| predicament | fix, dilemma | of the opinion (to be) | to believe, think |
| predicated on | based on | often times | often |
| predominant | dominant, main, chief | on account of | because |
| predominantly | mainly, chiefly, mostly | on behalf of | by, for, representing |
| preeminent | chief, outstanding, foremost, first | on the basis of | based on |
| preliminary to | before | on the grounds that | because |
| premier | first, leading | on the part of | for |
| preparatory to | before | operate | run, work |
| prepared | ready | operation | action, performance |
| operational | working | presently | now, soon |
| optimize | improve, strengthen | preserve | keep |
| optimum | greatest, most favorable, best | prevail upon | persuade |
| option | choice, way | prevalent | widespread |
| opus | work | primary | first, chief |
| organization | makeup, work site | prime | best |
| orifice | hole, vent, mouth | prior to | before |
| originate | start, create, begin | previous to | before |
| outlook | view | previously | before |
| outstanding (debt) | unpaid, unresolved | probability | chance, likelihood |
| over the signature of | signed by | problematical | doubtful |
| overlook | view, sight | procedures | rules, ways |
| parameters | limits, factors, boundaries | prioritize | rank, order, organized |
| paramount | superior, supreme, principal, chief | preventative | preventive |
| partake | share, take part in | previous | earlier, past |
| participate | take part | proceed | do, go on, try |
| particularize | (avoid using) details, specifies, itemize | procure | get, gain |
| patently | evidently | proficiency | skill, ability |
| peculiar to | unusual | profound | deep |
| penitentiary | prison | programmed | planned |
| per annum | each year, a year | prohibit | prevent, forbid |
| perform | do, act, produce, complete, finish | project (ed) (verb) | planned |
| period of time | period, time | promulgate | announce, issue, set forth |
| periodic | cyclic, recurring | proportion | share, part, size, amount |
| periphery | confines, limits, perimeter | porposal | plan, offer |
| permit | let | prototype | first or original, model, pattern |
| pernicious | deadly, harmful | provide | give, say, supply, furnish |
| personnel | perople, staff | provide for | care for |
| pertaining to | about, of, on | provided that | if |
| pertinent | to the point | provides guidance for | guides |
| peruse | read, study | provisions (of a law) | terms |
| phenomenon | fact, event | proximity | nearness, distance |
| pictured | shown, imagined | purchase | buy |
| place | put | purport | claim, mean |
| plaudits | praise, applause, approval | pursuant to | comply with, in, undre, per, according to |
| plethora | excess, too much | point in time | time, now, then |
| purvey | supply, provide, sell | point of view | (usually unnecessary) |
| purview | range, scope | quantify | count, measure, state the amount |
| specify | list | rationale | reason |
| square in shape | square | reach a decision | decide |
| state (verb) | say | reason for | why |
| statutory | legal | reason is because | because |
| still remains | remains | recapitulate | sum up, summarize, report |
| stimulate | stir, arouse | recipient | receiver |
| stipend | salary, payment, fee | recommend | propose, suggest, advance |
| strict accuracy | accuracy | recommendation | advice, thought, counsel, opinion |
| subordinate (verb) | to lower, subdue | reduce | cut |
| subordinate commands | their commands | referred to as | called, named |
| subsequent to | after, later, next | reflect | show, say |
| submit | offer, give, send | regarding | about, of, on |
| substantial | large, real, strong, much, solid | regardless | in spite of, no matter |
| substantiate | prove, support | reimbursement | payment, repayment |
| substitute (verb) | replace | reiterate | repeat |
| succor | help, aid | related with | on, about |
| succumb | die, yield | relating to | on, about, for |
| such | similar, like | relative to | on, about, for |
| such as | like, that is | relocation | move |
| sufficient | enough, ample | remain | stay |
| subsequently | after, later, then, next | remainder | the rest, what remains |
| stringent | tight, strict | remedy | cure |
| subject | the, this, your | remittance | payment |
| subject to examination | check, examine, verify | remove | take away, take off, move |
| sufficiently in advance | early enough | remuneration | pay, payment |
| sum total | sum, total | render | give, make, report |
| superfluous | extra, too much, useless | repeat again | repeat, do again |
| supervise | manage | replete | full, filled |
| supposition | belief, thought, idea | represent | stand for, depcit |
| surmise | think, guess, suppose | reproduce, reproduction | copy |
| susceptible to | open to, subject to | symptom | sign |
| request | ask, please | synthesis | merging, combining |
| require | must, need, call for | synthesize | put together, group, assemble |
| requirement | need | tabulation | table |
| requisite | needed | take action | act |
| reside | live | take apporpriate action | please |
| retain | keep | take necessary action | act |
| return | go back | take necessary steps | do |
| review | check, go over | technicality | detail, fine point |
| rudiments | first steps, basics | technique | way, method |
| salient | main, important | tender (verb) | offer, give |
| salutary | good, healthy | tentative | uncertain |
| sans | without | terminate | end, stop |
| satisfactory | fine, good, good enough | terrible disaster | disaster |
| saturate | soak, fill | that | (leave out) |
| scant | little, only | that aforesaid | (usually unnecessary) given or said above |
| scrupulous | careful | scrutinize | study carefully, look into |
| the fact that | (usually unnecessary) that | segment | part |
| the following | this, these | seldom ever | seldom |
| the foregoing | these, those, (something) above | selection | choice |
| the fullest degree possible | fully, as much as possible | serves to | acts, helps, works |
| significance | meaning, point, importance | the provisions of | (leave out) |
| significant | main, great, major, marked, | the question as to whether | whether |
| signify | mean, show (verb) | similar to | like |
| the undersigned desires | I want | sine qua non | essential |
| the use of | (leave out) | situated | placed, located, work asssignment, state |
| thence | from there | small in size | small |
| therapy | treatment | so as to | to |
| there are | (leave out) | solicit | ask for |
| there is | (leave out) | solitary | lone, single |
| thereafter | after that, afterwards, then | somewhat | (usually padding) |
| thereby | by that, by it | specifications | terms, details, conditions |
| therefore | so | therein | in (usually unnecessary) |
| thereof | of, its, their | very | (usually unnecessary) |
| thereon | on (usually unnecessary) | very far | distant, remote |
| thereto | to that, to it | very hot | torrid, scorching, fiery |
| thereupon | at once | very large | enormous, immense, huge, spacious, vast |
| thirdly | third | this office | us, we |
| very last | last | this point in time | now |
| very least | least | thither | there |
| very near | adjacent, close | through the use of | by, with |
| very pretty | gorgeous, beautiful | thus | so |
| very quiet | still, silent | thwart | frustrate, block, stop, hinder |
| very small | tiny, puny | time period or time frame | time, period, span |
| very strong | powerful, potent, forceful | very stupid | dense, moronic, idiotic, stupid |
| timely basis | promptly, fast, quickly | very weak | exhausted, frail, flimsy, inadequate |
| to be aware of | know | via | in, on, though, by way of |
| to effectively direct | to direct | viable | workable, capable of growing |
| to the extent that | as far as, so much that | vicinity of | close, near |
| transcend | go beyond | vicissitudes | ups and downs, changes, difficulties |
| transformation | change | vie | compete |
| transmit | send | virtually | almost |
| transparent | clear | visualize | see, imagine, picture |
| transpire | happen, occur | vitiate | weaken, spoil, impair, debase |
| transport | carry, move | voluminous | bulky, large |
| transverse | crosswise | warrant | call for, permit |
| trauma | shock | whence | from where |
| true facts | facts | whenever | when, each time |
| type | (leave out) | whereas | since, while |
| ultimate | final, end | whereby | by which |
| ultimately | in the end, finally | wherein | in which, where |
| under advisement | (avoid) being considered | wherever | where |
| under separate cover | (usually necessary) | wherewithal | means |
| underprivileged | poor, deprived | whether or not | whether, if |
| understand | know | will be effected | will be done |
| unintentionally | by mistake, mistakenly, accidentally | will make use of | will use |
| until such time as | until, when | with a view to | to, for |
| upgrade | improve | with due regard for, or to | for, to |
| upon | on | with reference to | on, about |
| upward adjustment | raise, increase | with regard to | about, on, regarding, concerning |
| usage | use | with the exception of | except, except for, but |
| utilize, utilization | use, employ | with the purpose of | to |
| validate | confirm | with the result that | so |
| value | cost, worth | within the purview of | under |
| variation | change | withstand | stand, resist |
| velocity | speed | witnessed | saw |
| vend | sell | verbatim | word for word, exact |
| veritable | (padding-usually unnecessary) |
We've been looking a lot at how to use the right word for the job to write clear and concise sentences. Before we leave this section on effective sentence writing, there are two more areas we need to cover that have an impact on readability-sentence length and using questions.
Sentence Length
The purpose of words on paper is to transfer thoughts in the simplest manner with the greatest clarity. You should avoid long, complicated sentences over 20 words (average is 17 words). Break up long, stuffy sentences by making short sentences of dependent clauses or by using lists. Short sentences increase the pace; long ones usually retard it. The key is to vary your pattern since constant use of either form can be monotonous.
Using Questions
Use questions now and then to call attention to what you want. You’re actually reaching out to your reader when a sentence ends with a question mark. In a longer communication, a question can definitely be a welcome change.