7.6: Thanks and Sorry
- Page ID
- 89658
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\(\newcommand{\avec}{\mathbf a}\) \(\newcommand{\bvec}{\mathbf b}\) \(\newcommand{\cvec}{\mathbf c}\) \(\newcommand{\dvec}{\mathbf d}\) \(\newcommand{\dtil}{\widetilde{\mathbf d}}\) \(\newcommand{\evec}{\mathbf e}\) \(\newcommand{\fvec}{\mathbf f}\) \(\newcommand{\nvec}{\mathbf n}\) \(\newcommand{\pvec}{\mathbf p}\) \(\newcommand{\qvec}{\mathbf q}\) \(\newcommand{\svec}{\mathbf s}\) \(\newcommand{\tvec}{\mathbf t}\) \(\newcommand{\uvec}{\mathbf u}\) \(\newcommand{\vvec}{\mathbf v}\) \(\newcommand{\wvec}{\mathbf w}\) \(\newcommand{\xvec}{\mathbf x}\) \(\newcommand{\yvec}{\mathbf y}\) \(\newcommand{\zvec}{\mathbf z}\) \(\newcommand{\rvec}{\mathbf r}\) \(\newcommand{\mvec}{\mathbf m}\) \(\newcommand{\zerovec}{\mathbf 0}\) \(\newcommand{\onevec}{\mathbf 1}\) \(\newcommand{\real}{\mathbb R}\) \(\newcommand{\twovec}[2]{\left[\begin{array}{r}#1 \\ #2 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\ctwovec}[2]{\left[\begin{array}{c}#1 \\ #2 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\threevec}[3]{\left[\begin{array}{r}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\cthreevec}[3]{\left[\begin{array}{c}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\fourvec}[4]{\left[\begin{array}{r}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \\ #4 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\cfourvec}[4]{\left[\begin{array}{c}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \\ #4 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\fivevec}[5]{\left[\begin{array}{r}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \\ #4 \\ #5 \\ \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\cfivevec}[5]{\left[\begin{array}{c}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \\ #4 \\ #5 \\ \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\mattwo}[4]{\left[\begin{array}{rr}#1 \amp #2 \\ #3 \amp #4 \\ \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\laspan}[1]{\text{Span}\{#1\}}\) \(\newcommand{\bcal}{\cal B}\) \(\newcommand{\ccal}{\cal C}\) \(\newcommand{\scal}{\cal S}\) \(\newcommand{\wcal}{\cal W}\) \(\newcommand{\ecal}{\cal E}\) \(\newcommand{\coords}[2]{\left\{#1\right\}_{#2}}\) \(\newcommand{\gray}[1]{\color{gray}{#1}}\) \(\newcommand{\lgray}[1]{\color{lightgray}{#1}}\) \(\newcommand{\rank}{\operatorname{rank}}\) \(\newcommand{\row}{\text{Row}}\) \(\newcommand{\col}{\text{Col}}\) \(\renewcommand{\row}{\text{Row}}\) \(\newcommand{\nul}{\text{Nul}}\) \(\newcommand{\var}{\text{Var}}\) \(\newcommand{\corr}{\text{corr}}\) \(\newcommand{\len}[1]{\left|#1\right|}\) \(\newcommand{\bbar}{\overline{\bvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\bhat}{\widehat{\bvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\bperp}{\bvec^\perp}\) \(\newcommand{\xhat}{\widehat{\xvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\vhat}{\widehat{\vvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\uhat}{\widehat{\uvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\what}{\widehat{\wvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\Sighat}{\widehat{\Sigma}}\) \(\newcommand{\lt}{<}\) \(\newcommand{\gt}{>}\) \(\newcommand{\amp}{&}\) \(\definecolor{fillinmathshade}{gray}{0.9}\)Responses to thanking
Thanking is not quite as perfunctory in Chinese as in English. In English, thanks are often given even after making a purchase, or when a waiter serves a dish or brings a drink. In Chinese, such transactions are more likely to be acknowledged with just hǎo ‘fine’ – if anything. Explicit thanking is not common, but where an action is worthy of thanks, then in informal or colloquial situations, xièxie or duōxiè (the latter, under the influence of Cantonese) suffices, while in more formal situations, the verb gǎnxiè ‘feel thanks’ can be used: hěn gǎnxiè . Responses to xièxie (or gǎnxiè), corresponding to English ‘you’re welcome’, vary considerably in Chinese. The main ones are listed below, with literal meanings.
| Xièxie <nǐ>. | Thanks. |
| You’re welcome. | |
| Bú xiè. | not thank |
| Bú yòng xiè. | not use thank |
| Bú kèqi | not be+polite |
| Bié kèqi! | don’t be+polite |
| Bú yào kèqi. | not want be+polite |
| Bú yòng kèqi. | not use be+polite |
| Béng kèqi. [northern] | no-use be+polite |
| Yīnggāi de! | '[It]’s what [I] should [do]!’ |
Notes
a) Yòng’s core meaning is ‘to use’; yào’s is ‘want’.; but in the above contexts, the meanings of both are closer to ‘need’. Béng is a telescoped version of bú + yòng.
b) Kèqi is composed of roots for ‘guest’ and ‘air; spirit’, so the literal meaning is, roughly, ‘adopt the airs of a guest’. Kè appears in expressions such as qǐngkè ‘entertain guests; to treat [by paying] (invite-guests)’ and words like kèrén ‘guest (guest-person)’ and kètīng ‘living room; parlor (guest-hall)’. Qì appears in words such as tiānqì ‘weather’ and qìfēn ‘atmosphere’.
| Tā hěn kèqi. | (S)he’s very polite. |
| Nǐ bié kèqi, wǒ qǐngkè. | Don’t worry, I’m treating. |
c) Yīnggāi de, containing the ‘modal verb’ yīnggāi ‘should; ought’ (cf. gāi), is a common response to a serious expression of gratitude. Xièxie nǐ lái jiē wǒ! / Yīnggāi de!
When someone fills your glass when you are conversing at a meal, or at other times when you might want to indicate appreciation without actually saying anything, you can tap the index finger, or the index and middle fingers on the table to express thanks. The practice is said to represent with bent fingers, the act of bowing.
Sorry
Regret for minor infractions or potential shortcomings is most commonly expressed as duìbuqǐ, an expression built on the root duì ‘to face squarely’ (and hence ‘to be correct’), plus the suffix bùqǐ ‘not-worthy’. The typical response makes use of the culturally very significant noun, guānxi ‘connections’.
| Duìbuqǐ! | Sorry! [I didn’t hear, understand, etc.] |
| Méi guānxi. | Never mind. |
| Duìbuqǐ, lǎoshī, wǒ lái wǎn le. | Sorry, sir, I’m late. (come late LE new sit’n) |
| Méi guānxi. | Never mind. |
In a more serious context, regret may be expressed as hěn bàoqiàn ‘[I]’m very sorry’, literally ‘embrace shortcomings’.
Refusal
No matter whether you are stopping by someone’s home or office, or staying for a longer visit, your host will usually serve you tea or soft drinks, often together with some fruit or other snacks. Depending on the situation and the degree of imposition, it is polite to ritually refuse these one or more times, and then if you ultimately accept, to consume them without showing desperation (much as you would in other countries). Some phrases for ritual refusal are provided below:
| hē | yòng | yào | mǎi | máfan |
| drink | use | want | buy | to bother; go to the trouble of |
Offers
| Lǐ Dān, hē yì bēi chá ba. | Li Dan, why don’t you have a cup of tea?! |
| Zhāng lǎoshī, hē diǎnr shénme? | Prof. Zhang, what’ll you have to drink? |
Responses
| Bú yòng le, bú yòng le. | No need, I’m fine. (‘not use’) |
| Bú yòng kèqi le! | Don’t bother! (‘not use politeness LE’) |
| Bié máfan le. | Don’t go to any trouble. (‘don’t bother LE’) |
Often, phrases pile up: Bú yòng le, bié máfan le, wǒ bù kě le!
More abrupt refusals are appropriate when there is a perceived violation, as when merchants try to tout goods on the street:
| Guāngdié, guāngpán! | CDs, DVDs! |
| Bù mǎi, bù mǎi! | Not interested (‘not buy’)! |
| Bú yào, bú yào! | Not interested (‘not want’)! |
Don't
The several responses to thanking and apologizing actually provide examples of the three main words of negation, bu, méi, and a third found in imperatives [orders], bié ‘don’t’. The last can be combined with the verb wàng ‘forget; leave behind’, as follows:
| Nĭ de sǎn, bié wàng le. O, duì, xièxie. Bú xiè. |
Your umbrella, don’t forget [it]! O, right, thanks! You’re welcome. |
| Nĭ de píbāo, bié wàng le! O, tiān a, wŏ de píbāo! Duōxiè, duōxiè. Bú yòng kèqi. |
Don’t forget your wallet! Oh, gosh, my wallet! Many thanks! You’re welcome. |
Exercise 3.
Provide Chinese interchanges along the following lines:
Excuse me, where abouts is the office?
The office is upstairs.
Don’t forget your passport!
O, ‘heavens’, my passport, thanks.
You’re welcome!
Your bookbag, don’t forget [it].
Yikes, thanks!
You’re welcome.
Have some tea!
No, I’m fine, thanks.
What’ll you have to drink?
You have tea?