4.5: Art of Clarity - Summary Leads and Inverted Pyramid
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\(\newcommand{\avec}{\mathbf a}\) \(\newcommand{\bvec}{\mathbf b}\) \(\newcommand{\cvec}{\mathbf c}\) \(\newcommand{\dvec}{\mathbf d}\) \(\newcommand{\dtil}{\widetilde{\mathbf d}}\) \(\newcommand{\evec}{\mathbf e}\) \(\newcommand{\fvec}{\mathbf f}\) \(\newcommand{\nvec}{\mathbf n}\) \(\newcommand{\pvec}{\mathbf p}\) \(\newcommand{\qvec}{\mathbf q}\) \(\newcommand{\svec}{\mathbf s}\) \(\newcommand{\tvec}{\mathbf t}\) \(\newcommand{\uvec}{\mathbf u}\) \(\newcommand{\vvec}{\mathbf v}\) \(\newcommand{\wvec}{\mathbf w}\) \(\newcommand{\xvec}{\mathbf x}\) \(\newcommand{\yvec}{\mathbf y}\) \(\newcommand{\zvec}{\mathbf z}\) \(\newcommand{\rvec}{\mathbf r}\) \(\newcommand{\mvec}{\mathbf m}\) \(\newcommand{\zerovec}{\mathbf 0}\) \(\newcommand{\onevec}{\mathbf 1}\) \(\newcommand{\real}{\mathbb R}\) \(\newcommand{\twovec}[2]{\left[\begin{array}{r}#1 \\ #2 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\ctwovec}[2]{\left[\begin{array}{c}#1 \\ #2 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\threevec}[3]{\left[\begin{array}{r}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\cthreevec}[3]{\left[\begin{array}{c}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\fourvec}[4]{\left[\begin{array}{r}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \\ #4 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\cfourvec}[4]{\left[\begin{array}{c}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \\ #4 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\fivevec}[5]{\left[\begin{array}{r}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \\ #4 \\ #5 \\ \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\cfivevec}[5]{\left[\begin{array}{c}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \\ #4 \\ #5 \\ \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\mattwo}[4]{\left[\begin{array}{rr}#1 \amp #2 \\ #3 \amp #4 \\ \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\laspan}[1]{\text{Span}\{#1\}}\) \(\newcommand{\bcal}{\cal B}\) \(\newcommand{\ccal}{\cal C}\) \(\newcommand{\scal}{\cal S}\) \(\newcommand{\wcal}{\cal W}\) \(\newcommand{\ecal}{\cal E}\) \(\newcommand{\coords}[2]{\left\{#1\right\}_{#2}}\) \(\newcommand{\gray}[1]{\color{gray}{#1}}\) \(\newcommand{\lgray}[1]{\color{lightgray}{#1}}\) \(\newcommand{\rank}{\operatorname{rank}}\) \(\newcommand{\row}{\text{Row}}\) \(\newcommand{\col}{\text{Col}}\) \(\renewcommand{\row}{\text{Row}}\) \(\newcommand{\nul}{\text{Nul}}\) \(\newcommand{\var}{\text{Var}}\) \(\newcommand{\corr}{\text{corr}}\) \(\newcommand{\len}[1]{\left|#1\right|}\) \(\newcommand{\bbar}{\overline{\bvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\bhat}{\widehat{\bvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\bperp}{\bvec^\perp}\) \(\newcommand{\xhat}{\widehat{\xvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\vhat}{\widehat{\vvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\uhat}{\widehat{\uvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\what}{\widehat{\wvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\Sighat}{\widehat{\Sigma}}\) \(\newcommand{\lt}{<}\) \(\newcommand{\gt}{>}\) \(\newcommand{\amp}{&}\) \(\definecolor{fillinmathshade}{gray}{0.9}\)This section focuses on developing skills writing summary news leads and using the inverted pyramid story structure. It differs from previous Art of Clarity sections in that the guidelines portion is abbreviated. Previous sections in this chapter cover those guidelines in detail.
Guidelines for writing summary news leads
- Stick to verified facts.
- Lead with the most important information.
- Cover most of the 5 Ws + H.
- Keep summary leads between 15-25 words.
- Write in the active voice.
- Choose verbs that describe action rather than "be" verbs.
- When stuck, craft a "boring" sentence that connects the 5 Ws in order. Then, "translate to interesting," i.e. edit the lead to appeal to a wide audience.
- Do not put quotes in a lead.
- Do not put questions in a lead.
- Do not lead with old news, but include limited context when necessary.
Demonstration
This example takes a list of facts, sorts them according to multiple 5Ws + 1H, prioritizes them, and presents a summary lead. The notes are presented as they might appear in a reporter's notebook as a story develops throughout the day.
Facts:
- The Anytown Police Department arrested the city's mayor this morning.
- The arrest happened at City Hall.
- A news release from the Anytown Police Department (APD) said the mayor is suspected of having been drunk when he crashed his SUV into the Little Italy Restaurant.
- The public information officer (PIO) from APD, Sarah Lawrence, said in a news conference today, "The mayor refused to submit to a field sobriety test at the time of the crash." Officer Lawrence also said that the mayor refused to turn himself in this morning.
- The crash happened Monday night.
- Mayor Steve Vibes' office released a statement just before Noon today saying he plans to step down as mayor early next week. The quote: "Steve Vibes plans to step down from his role as mayor of Anytown early next week after years of dedicated service to the community."
- The news release does not specify why he is stepping down.
- The mayor does not admit to being guilty of driving drunk.
- The news release from Mayor Vibes' office said he will "ensure a smooth transition."
- The fire at the Little Italy Restaurant happened just over a week ago.
- In case you forgot, today is Wednesday.
Organized 5 Ws and H:
Who: Anytown Police Department
What: Arrested Mayor Steve Vibes
Where: City Hall
When: This morning
Why: Mayor Vibes refused to take a field sobriety test, crashed into Little Italy Monday night
How: According to APD, the mayor refused to turn himself in, had to be arrested
Throughout the course of the day, more facts became known. We need to add additional W's to our list because they change the story significantly!
Who: Mayor Steve Vibes
What: Announced he will resign
Where: Announcement came from the mayor's office
When: Announced late this morning, plans to step down early next week.
Why: The announcement comes after he was arrested on suspicion of driving drunk and crashing into Little Italy
How: The statement from the mayor's office said he plans to "ensure a smooth transition."
We can only write one lead, so we have to prioritize between the lists first. The mayor stepping down is a bigger story than the arrest, so that is the lead. Information about the arrest might still be useful and might be used in the lead, but the focal point must be that the mayor is stepping down.
It is going to take a couple of tries to write this lead since there is more than enough information.
In the first draft, after noting that the mayor plans to step down, we will simply list other facts. We can "translate to interesting" once this step is done.
Draft lead: Anytown Mayor Steve Vibes announced he is stepping down in a statement released from his office after APD arrested him because he failed to turn himself in after he refused a field sobriety test after he crashed his SUV into Little Italy Monday night.
This is far too much information for a lead, and it is not yet coherent. The lead should focus on the Who, Mayor Steve Vibes. The most important What is that he is stepping down. The When should probably cover both when the announcement dropped and when he plans to step down. The Where may or may not be needed in the lead. The Why should probably be included because the lead should mention that this comes after he was arrested.
Better lead: Anytown Mayor Steve Vibes announced today that he will step down from office early next week. This comes after the Anytown Police Department arrested the mayor earlier today on suspicion of driving drunk when he crashed his SUV into the Little Italy restaurant Monday.
This version is longer but easier to read. It has been split into two sentences, but in this case both would need to fit into the 25-word limit. This version is almost twice that. We will have to be selective in which facts to leave in the lead and which ones to leave for the next few sentences.
Publishable lead: Anytown Mayor Steve Vibes announced today that he will soon step down following his arrest on suspicion of drunk driving.
This puts the most important information in one sentence at the top of the story.
The purpose of the straight news lead is not to tell the whole story. It is not to tease the story the way a headline would. The purpose is to tell readers the most important, most current information as clearly as possible.
With experience, newswriters will learn to trust their judgment about what should be included in a lead and what can wait for subsequent paragraphs.
Guidelines for following the inverted pyramid story structure
- Add additional information in order from most important to relatively least important.
- When adding quotes, consider both the importance of the information in the quote and the pacing of the story.
- Paragraphs should be 1-2 sentences long.
- Quotes get their own paragraph.
- Generally, try to include a quote after every 2-3 paragraphs of copy.
- Not all straight news stories have a clear ending, but do not leave open threads.
Demonstration continued
Starting with the lead from the exercise above, we can write an inverted pyramid story and add a suggested headline. Think critically about how to rank facts. The following draft is complete but still needs an editor's touch to finalize the story and headline:
Suggested Headline: Anytown Mayor Arrested, Will Step Down
Anytown Mayor Steve Vibes announced today that he will soon step down following his arrest on suspicion of drunk driving.
Police arrested the mayor this morning at City Hall. They believe the mayor was drunk when he crashed his SUV into the Little Italy Restaurant Monday night.
Anytown Police Public Information Officer Sarah Lawrence said, "The mayor refused to submit to a field sobriety test at the time of the crash."
She added that the mayor refused to turn himself in today.
Mayor Vibes did not admit to driving drunk, but his office released a statement that said, "Steve Vibes plans to step down from his role as mayor of Anytown early next week after years of dedicated service to the community."
The statement added that he plans to "ensure a smooth transition."
The mayor's office did not say which day Vibes plans to leave.
Quick summary
Writing news stories requires applied critical thinking skills. Newswriters take information from news releases, planned events, such as news conferences, breaking news events, previously published stories, interviews, and more, and they write a story. Stories not only organize and clearly present interesting information, they anticipate questions audience members might have.
Good writers recognize when they have incomplete information, and they either gather more information to fill in the gaps, address each gap by stating the limit of what is known, or they remove reference to the incomplete information.
Reflect
From this example, students can see how a story might develop throughout the day and how it might be published online that afternoon as a breaking story. Although there may be more to the story, this information is what is known at this time and what is most important to include for a mass audience.
Further reporting would reveal reactions from citizens and city leaders. If the mayor had any initiatives in the works, reporters might examine what will happen to those plans.
Reporters would also look more deeply into the goings on at the Little Italy Restaurant. It may be that the restaurant fire and the mayor's crash are related, or it may be mere coincidence.
On social media, Anytown residents and people with no ties to the city are speculating that the fire at Little Italy and the mayor's crash are related. Given that there is interest online, should this speculation be added to the story?
Write a brief paragraph explaining your position. If the speculation should be added, explain how and where. If not, explain why you would not add it.
Now that you have a sense of what summary news leads are and how they are written, it is time to practice writing summary news leads. Instructors should use their learning management system (LMS) of choice to copy-paste these prompts into assignments. Instructors may add more prompts, if they wish.
1. Take the information provided and write a summary news lead.
Who: Simone Biles
What: won the silver medal in the floor exercise
Where: Paris, Bercy Arena
When: Monday
Why: She scored a 14.133. Rebecca Andrade of Brazil scored a 14.166
How: 2024 Paris Olympics, individual events, final event for Simone Biles, 11th medal of her career, did not medal in the balance beam
2. Take the information provided and write a summary news lead.
Who: Edward Spellman, owner of a local entertainment complex
What: opening a mobile LED board business, i.e. a large screen on a truck that can be used for events
Where: in and around Anytown
When: started the business three weeks ago, hosting a kickoff party in City Park this coming Saturday 11 a.m. - 4 p.m.
Why: Spellman saw a need for large screens at events at a reasonable cost.
How: According to Spellman, other business charge $10,000 per event. His mobile screen costs $2,000 - $5,000 to rent, depending on duration and distance from Anytown.
This chapter section calls for students to write a straight news story in the inverted pyramid style complete with a suggested headline, summary news lead, additional facts, and two quotes. The information provided here may be copied into the course LMS as an assignment.
Take the information provided and write a straight news story in the inverted pyramid style. Students should list the suggested headline first, then a summary news lead followed by facts in descending order of importance. Many stories would include quotes. This exercise does not include quotes so that students may focus on story structure.
Please note that although the suggested headline goes first, it is often the last thing written.
Who: Alex Caruso, business manager of Little Italy, a popular Italian restaurant located in downtown Anytown
What: According to a news release from restaurant owner Max Whiffs, the restaurant’s business manager Alex Caruso has been caught embezzling funds.
Where: The embezzlement took place at Little Italy Italian Restaurant, located at 123 Main St. in downtown Anytown.
When: The embezzlement began in early 2022 and was discovered in late July 2024 after a routine audit flagged discrepancies in the financial records.
Why: According to statements from Whiffs, the embezzlement was motivated by Caruso’s personal financial troubles and his desire to support local political candidates.
How: Caruso manipulated the restaurant’s accounting system to divert funds to a series of shell companies and personal accounts. He created fake invoices and altered financial reports to cover his tracks. His scheme went unnoticed due to a lack of oversight and inadequate financial controls.
Further information:
The case is now under scrutiny as the restaurant's owners seek restitution and potential legal action against Caruso.
The restaurant is also reassessing its financial management practices to prevent future incidents.
Anytown Police detectives are looking into the case. Their investigation has already revealed that Caruso had been using the stolen funds to cover gambling debts and to support Mayor Stephen Vibes’ bid for Shelby County Commissioner.
Investigations reveal that over the past two years, he siphoned approximately $250,000 from the restaurant's accounts for personal use.
Subsequent legal proceedings are being conducted in the downtown district courthouse. Charges have not been filed yet, but Whiffs said he does plan to press charges against Caruso.
The most likely charges would be theft, fraud, and embezzlement.
For print journalism, the general rule about mentioning time is to think about it in terms of when the print publication comes out. If a digital version of a breaking news story includes references to "this morning" or "earlier today," those references may need to be changed to "yesterday" for a print story that will not be published until the next day.
Alternatively, many online publications do not bother with any references to "today" and instead will use the day of the week on all references, even for stories occurring on the same day. This avoids confusion and the to change time references in different print or online versions of a story.
Your assignment is to find five local online news stories that mention the day on which the story occurs. Note if they mention the day of the week by name, if they reference "today" or "yesterday," or if they reference day parts, e.g. "this morning."
As a group, have the class pool their data about time references in news stories. Which reference to the date is most common, day of the week, "today" vs. "yesterday," or day parts?
Explain in a discussion or in a brief couple of paragraphs to be turned in why you think this is the most popular approach to addressing the day of the week.