16.2: Chapter 2

4.2.1. Listening Comprehension

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00:06 - [Teacher] Hey there Psych2Goers,

00:07 and welcome back to another video.

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00:22 Now, let's continue.

00:24 We all have different ways

00:25 of dealing with stressful circumstances.

00:27 Maybe you like to go to the gym and workout,

00:29 or maybe you like to turn the music up in your car

00:32 and sing along to the radio, when you're stressed out.

00:35 Either way, these two types of coping mechanisms are good

00:38 and healthy, since they aren't harmful to you or others.

00:42 But there are some unhealthy coping mechanisms

00:44 that you might have due to stress,

00:47 that can be harmful to you and or other people.

00:50 With that said, here are five common

00:52 unhealthy coping mechanisms that you shouldn't ignore.

00:55 Number one, forced positivity.

00:59 I'm sure you've heard the term, good vibes only.

01:01 This statement and its accompanying sentiments,

01:04 have become part of our societal culture.

01:06 Of course, there's nothing wrong

01:07 with having a positive mindset.

01:09 Positivity can be a pretty powerful tool

01:11 when you wanna manifest that in your life.

01:13 However, the notion of only positive vibes,

01:16 have been taken to the extreme.

01:18 Toxic positivity.

01:20 Toxic positivity does not come

01:22 from a place of genuine happiness,

01:24 it comes from a place of denial,

01:25 invalidation or minimization.

01:28 It's an attempt to display a positive disposition

01:31 at all times, even when you're not in the best of moods.

01:34It's usually so excessive,

01:35 that the toxic positivity phrases are obvious.

01:38 Some examples of toxic positivity are,

01:41 “Don't think about it, be positive.

01:43 Everything will work out in the end.

01:44 If I can do it, so can you."

01:46 Or, "It could be worse."

01:48 When you force yourself to be positive at all times,

01:51 you're barring and repressing your emotions,

01:54 which can lead to doubt, shame,

01:56 and relational problems with others.

01:58 Sometimes life just sucks,

02:01 and no amount of positivity can fix it.

02:04 It's all right to be angry, jealous,

02:06 annoyed or deeply upset about things.

02:09 The good and the bad emotions are all part of being human.

02:13 Number two, isolating yourself.

02:16 For now, being socially distant is our safest option.

02:20 But there're other ways you might be isolating yourself

02:22 without realizing it.

02:24 Socially isolating yourself

02:25 simply because you don't like the people who are around you,

02:27 is not a healthy habit.

02:29 This can make it harder for you to relate to others overall,

02:32 when you do something like this.

02:34 As a species, we are social creatures

02:36 and we crave and need proper connection with other people.

02:40 You can learn a lot from the people around you.

02:42 When you connect with others in a healthy manner

02:44 through supportive conversations and good healthy talks,

02:48 you're allowing yourself to grow emotionally and mentally.

02:51 Fostering your mental resilience can be helpful

02:54 when times of stress do arise.

02:56 If you feel anxious in social situations,

02:59 try going to an event with someone you know,

03:01 or reach out to a professional therapist,

03:03 who can teach you techniques to reduce the stress you feel

03:06 caused by social situations.

03:08 Number three, fatalism.

03:11 When somebody bad happens,

03:12 our brains immediately embellish the event,

03:15 that makes it seem like it's the worst possible thing

03:17 to have ever happened to you.

03:19 It's a mental trait that has kept humans alive

03:21 for millions of years,

03:22 so the same mistakes won't be repeated in need of survival.

03:26 However, in our modern day society,

03:29 it functions as a self-defense mechanism,

03:32 you prepare for the worst just in case.

03:34 But, this behavior might be causing you more stress

03:37 than necessary.

03:38 High levels of stress can lead to severe

03:40 mental and physical health problems,

03:41 like depression and even heart disease.

03:44 A tool to help overcome this need to catastrophize would be,

03:47 to allow yourself to think of the five top worst outcomes.

03:51 And then, ask yourself,

03:52 how likely they are to actually happen.

03:55 If you feel like a bad outcome is truly likely,

03:58 then plan for that one outcome,

04:00 create a plan that is flexible

04:02 and doable in case it needs to change.

04:05 This will give you a better sense of security going forward,

04:08 and create less stress in your life.

04:10 Number four, repressing your feelings.

04:13 Are you you repressing your feelings

04:15 because you think that no one cares?

04:17 Or that it's a waste of time?

04:19 Often, this behavior is a type of self-defense mechanism,

04:23 that activates when you believe that you no longer

04:25 have control over a certain situation.

04:28 Whether you choose to overreact or under react,

04:31 you are not giving your emotions a chance to be aired out.

04:35 While there should be a degree

04:37 of emotional self-control in place,

04:39 we should remember to be genuine with how we're feeling

04:42 and express it calmly and reasonably,

04:45 in a way that does not harm others.

04:47 If you are more likely to overreact

04:49 when something goes wrong, notice any physiological changes.

04:53 Usually your body is a good indicator

04:56 of how you're actually feeling.

04:58 Taking a moment to meditate and ground yourself

05:00 in your body, can help you minimize stress

05:02 and reduce emotional outbursts.

05:04 There're other ways to shake out repressed emotions,

05:06 such as yelling into a pillow, dancing or working out.

05:10 Number five, romanticizing the past.

05:13 The past can hold a certain appeal,

05:16 when we put our nostalgic goggles on,

05:18 especially when the present looks dim and not as promising.

05:22 Unfortunately, we can't resurrect the past.

05:26 Things happened and chances are, they did not happen

05:29 exactly as you imagined they would.

05:31 Living in a nostalgic daydream of what could have been,

05:34 can rob you of opportunities that you need

05:36 to be taking advantage of in your current present.

05:40 If you find yourself taking frequent trips down memory lane,

05:43 figure out what specifically appeals to you

05:45 about those memories, and try to recreate them

05:48 in the present.

05:49 The present can sometimes be dim and gray,

05:52 but your perspective depends on how you choose to handle it.

05:57 So, which of these coping mechanisms did you relate to most?

06:00 How do you healthily or unhealthily

06:03 cope with stressful circumstances?

06:05 Share your experiences with us in the comments below.

06:07 Please, like and share this video if it helped you,

06:09 and you think it could help someone else too.

06:11 The studies and references used are listed

06:13 in the description below.

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“5 Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms You Shouldn’t Ignore” is licensed by Psych2Go under CC BY.