6.3: How Do You Resolve Word-Level Problems?
- Page ID
- 47388
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\(\newcommand{\avec}{\mathbf a}\) \(\newcommand{\bvec}{\mathbf b}\) \(\newcommand{\cvec}{\mathbf c}\) \(\newcommand{\dvec}{\mathbf d}\) \(\newcommand{\dtil}{\widetilde{\mathbf d}}\) \(\newcommand{\evec}{\mathbf e}\) \(\newcommand{\fvec}{\mathbf f}\) \(\newcommand{\nvec}{\mathbf n}\) \(\newcommand{\pvec}{\mathbf p}\) \(\newcommand{\qvec}{\mathbf q}\) \(\newcommand{\svec}{\mathbf s}\) \(\newcommand{\tvec}{\mathbf t}\) \(\newcommand{\uvec}{\mathbf u}\) \(\newcommand{\vvec}{\mathbf v}\) \(\newcommand{\wvec}{\mathbf w}\) \(\newcommand{\xvec}{\mathbf x}\) \(\newcommand{\yvec}{\mathbf y}\) \(\newcommand{\zvec}{\mathbf z}\) \(\newcommand{\rvec}{\mathbf r}\) \(\newcommand{\mvec}{\mathbf m}\) \(\newcommand{\zerovec}{\mathbf 0}\) \(\newcommand{\onevec}{\mathbf 1}\) \(\newcommand{\real}{\mathbb R}\) \(\newcommand{\twovec}[2]{\left[\begin{array}{r}#1 \\ #2 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\ctwovec}[2]{\left[\begin{array}{c}#1 \\ #2 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\threevec}[3]{\left[\begin{array}{r}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\cthreevec}[3]{\left[\begin{array}{c}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\fourvec}[4]{\left[\begin{array}{r}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \\ #4 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\cfourvec}[4]{\left[\begin{array}{c}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \\ #4 \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\fivevec}[5]{\left[\begin{array}{r}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \\ #4 \\ #5 \\ \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\cfivevec}[5]{\left[\begin{array}{c}#1 \\ #2 \\ #3 \\ #4 \\ #5 \\ \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\mattwo}[4]{\left[\begin{array}{rr}#1 \amp #2 \\ #3 \amp #4 \\ \end{array}\right]}\) \(\newcommand{\laspan}[1]{\text{Span}\{#1\}}\) \(\newcommand{\bcal}{\cal B}\) \(\newcommand{\ccal}{\cal C}\) \(\newcommand{\scal}{\cal S}\) \(\newcommand{\wcal}{\cal W}\) \(\newcommand{\ecal}{\cal E}\) \(\newcommand{\coords}[2]{\left\{#1\right\}_{#2}}\) \(\newcommand{\gray}[1]{\color{gray}{#1}}\) \(\newcommand{\lgray}[1]{\color{lightgray}{#1}}\) \(\newcommand{\rank}{\operatorname{rank}}\) \(\newcommand{\row}{\text{Row}}\) \(\newcommand{\col}{\text{Col}}\) \(\renewcommand{\row}{\text{Row}}\) \(\newcommand{\nul}{\text{Nul}}\) \(\newcommand{\var}{\text{Var}}\) \(\newcommand{\corr}{\text{corr}}\) \(\newcommand{\len}[1]{\left|#1\right|}\) \(\newcommand{\bbar}{\overline{\bvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\bhat}{\widehat{\bvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\bperp}{\bvec^\perp}\) \(\newcommand{\xhat}{\widehat{\xvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\vhat}{\widehat{\vvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\uhat}{\widehat{\uvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\what}{\widehat{\wvec}}\) \(\newcommand{\Sighat}{\widehat{\Sigma}}\) \(\newcommand{\lt}{<}\) \(\newcommand{\gt}{>}\) \(\newcommand{\amp}{&}\) \(\definecolor{fillinmathshade}{gray}{0.9}\)WORD-LEVEL PRONOUNS
PRONOUNS
Pronouns are links to previous nouns. Their misuse is usually due to the author's awareness of the correct linkage and the reader's ignorance of the linkage. Common problems are below:
- this: Officially, this refers back to the most recently occurring singular neuter noun. Often this is misused to refer to the idea embodied in the previous sentence, sentences, or paragraph(s). Modify such usage to let the reader know what the pronoun refers to. For an example of a rewrite of an ambiguous pronoun, see below:
Table \(\PageIndex{1}\) Original Rewrite Suburbia is sprawling into farmland. This raises farm prices. Suburbia is sprawling into farmland. This encroachment raises farm prices. - here: The common misusage of here is similar to the misuse of this. The reader doesn't know whether the author means here on the page, here in the author's lab, or here in the room where the book is being read.
- there is and it is: These pairs of words often are used to start sentences. They convey neither information nor connections themselves and are thus dead text. Worse, it has the connotation of linking back to a noun; a reader trying to make such a connection will be confused. Recast sentences that start with these pairs:
Table \(\PageIndex{2}\) Original Rewrite It is possible to achieve maximum velocity within five seconds. Maximum velocity can be achieved within five seconds. There is an immense amount of work that we have to do. We have to do an immense amount of work. - Antecedents: The following sentence is funny. It has many problems, but you will get a chuckle when you understand what has been written.
Trichloroethylene (TCE) is a ubiquitous example of the dense chlorinated hydrocarbons, a family of organic liquids that have recently received great attention from environmental professionals because they are highly toxic and carcinogenic and are capable of persisting for long times in an aquifer and contaminating large volumes of groundwater.
As written, this sentence claims that environmental professionals are highly toxic and carcinogenic. The pronoun they refers back to the previous noun that matches in number and gender, professionals. The intended target chlorinated hydrocarbons occurs much earlier in the sentences. Often, the reader knows which noun to match from context, but inconsistencies quickly consternate the reader.
- A pronoun that starts a sentence may also refer back to the subject of the previous sentence.
Bill hit Fred. He went home.
Without further information, the reader does not know who went home.
- we: In technical writing, we should only be used to refer to the authors. If there is only one author, make sure that we is taken to mean the author and the author's colleagues. Often we is used to mean the author and the reader or people in general. Shun these two misuses. Below is an example of how to avoid misusing we:
Table \(\PageIndex{3}\) Original Rewrite Given the appropriate GDS model of the target we can fully specify the qualitative abstraction functions and automaton used by our maneuver detector. The appropriate GDS model of the target fully specifies the qualitative abstraction functions and automaton used by our maneuver detector. - you: Readers don't like to be told what to think. By using the word you, an author suggests that a reader thinks something that the reader doesn't necessarily think. Shun the use of you.
A LOT
A lot means a lot to the author, but not much to the reader. Be specific about the quantity:
Original | Rewrite |
A lot of dentists recommend sugarless gum. | Four out of five dentists recommend sugarless gum. |
AFOREMENTIONED, MENTIONED ABOVE
The reader won't know which idea to associate with these constructs. For ideas, qualify and recap the idea for the reader. For an equation, number the equation and refer to the number in the text.
COMMON WORD-LEVEL PROBLEMS FOR ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE WRITERS
- subject-verb match
- determiners
- prepositions
- infinitives
Use the English language for 10,000 hours and you will be an expert. Get a native speaker to proofread your text. In the absence of a native speaker, devote proofreading to these trouble spots.
WHICH AND THAT
Here are two examples to demonstrate the difference between which and that:
Original | Rewrite |
Get the lawn mower that is in the garage. (several lawn mowers -- the garage is fundamental) | Get the lawn mower, which is in the garage. (only one lawn mower -- the garage is parenthetical) |
Talk to the man who is in the garage. (several men) | Talk to the man, who is in the garage. (one man) |
One of the uses of the comma in the above examples is to set off parenthetical information. In the non-restrictive clauses, the information is parenthetical and is offset by commas. In the restrictive counterpart, the clause information is vital to the meaning of the sentence and no comma is used. Which is always non-restrictive and always gets a comma. That is always restrictive and never gets a comma. For non-neuter pronouns (who) the pronoun does not change, but the comma is added to the non-restrictive clauses and omitted from the restrictive clauses. For the sake of the one in ten readers who understand the difference between restrictive and nonrestrictive clauses, be consistent with the convention.
INVOLVE, DEAL WITH, AND DISCUSS
These words are vague. Provide more detail; be specific. I see involve used in resumes and cover letters to very poor effect:
Original | Rewrite |
I was involved in research on high temperature oxygen conductivity. | I constructed the current probes, measured the frequency response of thin film samples, and analyzed data for high temperature oxygen conductivity experiments. |
Without additional elaboration, the original sentence could mean that the author provided the researchers with pizza.
UNFORTUNATELY
Often unfortunate for the author, but the whim of fates is rarely of importance to the reader.
OBVIOUSLY
In rough drafts obvious is an important flag to the writer; it means the idea is vitally important and care must be taken to make that idea obvious to the reader. Unfortunately, a thing cannot be made obvious merely by applying the adjective. A reader can think three things when reading the word obviously:
- It is obvious, so why is it mentioned?
- It is not obvious; the author is stupid.
- It is not obvious; the reader is stupid.
Because none of these modes of thought are productive, obviously should be ruthlessly eliminated from final drafts. Instead, take care though to emphasize the point that must become obvious to the reader.
NOTE THAT
Note that is a note by the author to the reader. In a rough draft it means that the information is important but has not been connected to the text. Remove the note and explicitly connect the information to the rest of the text.
SCIENTISTS AND RESEARCHERS
Invoking scientists or researchers often makes your text sound like a caricature of a 1950's press release. Usually, these words are used to indicate the importance of an idea:
Many scientists have studied PHB, mostly because of its potential use as a biodegradable plastic.
Such a statement can be interpreted in two ways, depending on the reader's opinion of scientists:
- Scientists are always right, therefore, PHB is important.
- Scientists are full of baloney, therefore, PHB is unimportant.
The sophisticated reader wants to know which scientists; at a bare minimum, cite all the many scientists involved. Better yet, get rid of the pesky scientists because they are not important to the story of PHB:
The potential use of PHB as a biodegradabe plastic has prompted numerous studies of its physical properties and its production and purification. [1,2,3,4]
The scientists have disappeared, as has any associated stigma or glory.
The people who produced the studies can tracked down if need be through the references.
Putting it all together—how to draft:
Below are some clues that might hint at a needed revision:
- trouble with punctuation
- long sentences/strings of clauses
- passive voice or 100% of sentences have forms of be for verbs
- subject-verb separation
- nested "ands"
- obviously
- note that
Below are some clues that show where you might add more to a section:
- questions
- parenthetical phrases
- long sentences
- one and two sentence long paragraphs
2: "Unity, transition, and development" is a structure used in "Modern Essays" by James G. Hepburn & Robert A. Greenberg (2nd edition, 1968, Macmillan).
LICENSES AND ATTRIBUTIONS
- “Word-Level Problems” by David Custer licensed under (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0)