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3.4: Writing Skills- The Illustration Paragraph

  • Page ID
    104397
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    What Is an Illustration Paragraph?

    An illustration paragraph is one in which the topic sentence is supported with examples. Look at this paragraph:

    Working as a personal support worker, or PSW, with the elderly can be a varied, stable, and very satisfying career choice. First, the job provides plenty of variety; you are not sitting in an office doing the same thing every day. PSWs work in private homes, in nursing homes, and in community care centres. They meet different people, all of whom have different needs. One client may need help with bathing, dressing, and taking medications; another may need help with transportation and grocery shopping; and yet another may simply need company and some light housekeeping. Second, there are likely to be plenty of jobs in the future. Canada’s population is aging; there are now more seniors in Canada than children, and the percentage of people over 65 is projected to rise to 23% in the next 15 years. Care for the elderly is one of the fastest growing industries in the country. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, working as a PSW is a very rewarding job. There is nothing that compares to the smile on an elderly person’s face when he is sitting comfortably in his favourite chair after being cared for by a friendly visitor, or when she knows her home is clean and tidy. The gratitude shown by the clients far outweighs the modest salary made by PSWs. Anyone who is unsure about what career to choose should think carefully about becoming a personal support worker—the rewards are endless.

     

    What Makes a Good Illustration Paragraph?

    • It has unity: everything in the paragraph you have read is about the same topic—the potential for a rewarding career as a personal support worker. There is nothing in the paragraph that does not belong there.
    • It has a strong topic sentence, which tells the reader exactly what the paragraph will be about.
    • There are enough details, examples, and statistics to make the paragraph meaningful. The information in the paragraph you have read clearly illustrates why care for the elderly is a good career.
    • The information is presented in a logical order.
    • It has a concluding sentence, in this case, a call to action.

     

    You Try It!

    Look at the following examples of illustration paragraphs. Both paragraphs have some good points and some areas that can be improved. For each one, answer the questions below.

    Paragraph 1

    Working in the tourist industry is a great career choice. First, people who work in hotels in popular resort towns like Whistler and Nelson have the chance to meet many interesting people. Second, if you work in a hotel like the Fairmont in Whistler, you will be able to look at amazing scenery while you work. The work might be boring, like cleaning rooms or carrying people’s luggage, but you will be doing it in a beautiful place with stunning mountain views. My cousin worked in the Fairmont in Whistler, and he met some members of the Japanese royal family. Of course, there are other good career choices, such as nursing or secretarial work. Many people prefer these jobs because they are not seasonal and they pay better salaries, but these jobs are not as interesting as working in tourism. That’s why I think tourism is a good career choice.

     

    1. Does it have unity? Is everything in the paragraph about the same topic?

    ________________________________________________________________________

    1. Is there a strong topic sentence that tells the reader exactly what the paragraph will be about?

    ________________________________________________________________________

    1. Are there enough details, examples, and statistics to make the paragraph meaningful?

    ________________________________________________________________________

    1. Is the information presented in a logical order?

    ________________________________________________________________________

    1. Is there a strong concluding sentence?

    ________________________________________________________________________

    1. How could this paragraph be improved?

    ________________________________________________________________________

     

    Paragraph 2

    Working in a kitchen can be dangerous, but there are steps you can take to make sure you stay safe. First of all, you need to be very careful around hot surfaces. My friend once had a job in the food court at the mall, and one day she wasn’t paying attention, and she put her hand on some hot fat. She burned herself quite badly and had to go to the hospital. She couldn’t work for over a month, and she lost a lot of money. Then, you need to make sure the floor is always clean. Lots of accidents happen because kitchen workers are always rushing around and they trip over things on the floor. Last but not least, you need to be careful around knives—the knives they use in a restaurant kitchen are really sharp!

     

    1.      Does it have unity? Is everything in the paragraph about the same topic?

    ________________________________________________________________________

    2.      Is there a strong topic sentence that tells the reader exactly what the paragraph will be about?

    ________________________________________________________________________

    3.      Are there enough details, examples, and statistics to make the paragraph meaningful?

    ________________________________________________________________________

    4.      Is the information presented in a logical order?

    ________________________________________________________________________

    5.      Is there a strong concluding sentence?

    ________________________________________________________________________

    6.      How could this paragraph be improved?

    ________________________________________________________________________

     

    Steps for Writing the Illustration Paragraph

     

    1. As you saw in Unit 1, your writing should begin with some brainstorming. Think about your topic—what do you want to say about it? Use a mind map to start to collect some ideas.
    2. Make a plan for your paragraph. Which of your ideas do you want to keep? Which ones don’t belong in your paragraph? How are you going to arrange your ideas? Make a quick outline.
    3. Write your first draft. Don’t worry about getting everything perfect at this stage; just get your ideas on paper.
    4. Revise your draft. Follow the ARMS checklist you learned in Unit 1 (Add, Remove, Move, and Substitute). Ask yourself the questions you answered with the two paragraphs above.
    5. Edit your paragraph and write your final draft. Now that your ideas are in place, you can focus on grammar, spelling, word choice, and punctuation.

    In Bring It Together: Writing Task you will write a paragraph on the topic of work. Use what you have learned in this section to help you.


    3.4: Writing Skills- The Illustration Paragraph is shared under a CC BY-NC-SA license and was authored, remixed, and/or curated by LibreTexts.